Tradition Be Damned (Last Hope Book 1) Read online

  Two—I had to think of him as Two so I didn’t call him Mason— did pushups on the floor of my sitting room, and One stared at him like he’d grown two heads. “What’s happening here? I have to drag you out of bed.”

  “He slept in the bed with the Sister. The big comfy bed. He’s well rested.” Three took a sip of the coffee someone had made.

  One grabbed Two and hauled him off the floor by the back of his shirt. “You slept in the bed with her?”

  What was going on? “I rather insisted. I couldn’t sleep with him on the floor.”

  One took an audible breath while Two pulled himself away. “The Sister insisted?”

  “Yes.” Two straightened his shirt and looked at me. “It was a pleasure to keep her safe.”

  I looked at the floor. It was going to be really, really hard for me to pretend the whole night hadn’t happened. “Thank you.”

  “Anne.” Two had no sooner said my name than Five slugged him in the shoulder. “Ouch.”

  My newest guard pointed his finger at him. “Don’t use her name. She’s a Sister.”

  “I know that.” Two held up his hands. “I’m off or something right now. Give me a few minutes to collect myself. I apologize for the misuse of your name.”

  “It’s okay. This is an odd situation this morning. All of us here in my quarters.” The snow had stopped, but it was still freezing outside. I was going to ask for all five of them again.

  “Clearly.” Four sat down on the floor. “But he doesn’t just get to say your name”

  I sat down in a chair by my mirror. “I actually like it. No one ever says my name. Makes me feel less … other.”

  One strode over to me. “There are rules. Even after a night with a Sister we can’t be informal. You’re still you, and we’re still us. Please understand. He could be … removed.”

  “I know.” I really, really did.

  A pounding on the door caught my attention. I opened it to find the three women who dressed me there. “Excuse us for barging in, but they want her for a demon fight. A big one. Not far from here. On the edge of the property. The demon is killing our workmen and has a whole bunch of them stuck and terrified in a cave. Sister Katrina says only Sister Anne can do it.”

  It looked like I was back to work. I rose. “I’ll see you all soon then.”

  I had work to do.

  I didn’t need to stay in the carriage long. Three reverted to silence again, and the others seemed back on track. Even Two was the ever-diligent warrior, no sign of our night before anywhere in his expression. I tried to pretend it didn’t sting. I’d been right to avoid intimacy. I wasn’t made for this.

  My heart was tangled between wanting all of them, not wanting any of them because I had to protect myself, and feeling pissed off it hadn’t been more meaningful to Mason. Did they all know? Did they discuss it? Had Two told them all the details? He’d said it himself; I didn’t do things the way the Sisters were supposed to. I hoped he didn’t regret our few moments.

  I got out of the carriage and waited for them to join me. The demon had tormented those poor people for a while now. They needed help. I would give it to them.

  We walked forward for a moment before One spoke. “I don’t like how few details we have on this.”

  “Emergencies happen. Stay back, okay? I won’t have anything happen to you.” I stepped out in front, but One grabbed my arm.

  “Sister Anne, as I have repeatedly told you, we take care of you not the other way around.”

  I shrugged out of his hold. “Guess I am not good at listening.”

  Weird Sister I might be, but spineless and brainless I was not.

  One strode in front of me. “I didn’t say …”

  “Please forget it. I’m out of sorts. As Two must have told you. Or Three. My powers turned on in the middle of the night. Make no mind of me. Please.” I moved around him. I’d spotted the demon, and he was a nasty one.

  “He didn’t tell me, actually. Neither did Three. Why did they come on?” He looked past me at Two and Three. I didn’t turn to see their reactions.

  I touched One’s arm. He really hadn’t done anything to deserve my ire. “If you want to talk about the whys of my strange powers, I’d be happy to, later.”

  He nodded once. “Of course. This is not the time. I’m also … off.”

  The demon in front of me was one of the worst kind. I knew why Katrina had sent me. He was a stage one demon. Only a few of us—including Katrina, but she no longer fought—could manage them. His kind was the most likely to kill us. My guys couldn’t see him, and I considered leaving out that piece of information. Why did they need the stress when there was nothing in the world they could do?

  But that wouldn’t be fair.

  “One, someone needs to write down what I’m going to say. I’ll sign it.”

  There was a single out for the “the guards die if the sister dies” clause. If I suspected I could be killed, believed there was no way for them to help me, I could give them an out. A written declaration using code words only I knew would tell the sisterhood I hadn’t been coerced into giving them an out and that they hadn’t written it after I’d died.

  One went still. “You’re serious?”

  “What does that mean?” Two seemed to find his voice.

  “It means she thinks this is death and she’s saving us.” Four always seemed to understand. He was smart and well read on our traditions. They were all really intelligent. It had been an honor.

  “I don’t accept that, Sister Anne.” One held my gaze. He had fire in his eyes. “Five just started. You wouldn’t want to disappoint him.”

  I turned to my youngest member. “I’m sorry if this is a short acquaintance.”

  “Please don’t die.” He visibly swallowed. “I haven’t proven myself to you yet.”

  His words clenched my heart. “You have no need to prove anything. I’m in awe of all of you. We’re raised to understand that what is about to happen will likely kill us. The biggest cause of death for one such as I is the demon over there. It’s why they sent me. I might be able to beat him. But maybe not. Give me the paper you carry. Please.”

  Three grabbed One’s arm. “Don’t do it. She goes, we go, remember?”

  “I don’t know what that nonsense is, but I can’t accept it. I am not going to my death with yours on it.”

  “Then leave the demon, Sister Anne.” Four’s plea surprised me. “Don’t do this one.”

  I stomped forward to One. He had a pack he always carried. Somewhere in it was the notepaper. “Am I pulling it out myself? This is hard, and I’m being brave. Can we not make this harder? Please. You’re all so brave all the time. I’m trying to be like you. Please.”

  A vein pulsed in his forehead. He said nothing, then grabbed the bag and extracted a notepad. I took it from him and with steady hands wrote out my declaration. The demon was the worst kind. He’d likely beat me. They were not to be punished. I thanked the sisterhood for years of care and gave it back to One.

  “Bryant.” It was so inappropriate for me to call him such, but I might as well finish as I’d always been. “Thank you for your service. If this is it, go home and live the life you’ve earned.”

  He grabbed my arm so fast I didn’t see it coming. “Anne, when you live through this, we’re going to speak. About many things.”

  Two was suddenly at his side. “Come back. I won’t let you hit the ground. Not even once. Last night was …”

  I put my hand on his lips. “Stop. You don’t have to say anything. Thank you. Go home and live the life you earned.”

  Three and Four rushed toward us with Five behind them. Three pulled me into an actual hug. I didn’t know what to do at first. I’d never been … hugged. Eventually I put my arms around him. “Go home and live the life you earned.”

  Four took me from Three and kissed both my hands. “Thank you, Sister Anne.”

  “Go home and liv
e the life you earned.”

  Five shook his head. “You’re wrong. I want to prove myself. I want to be like them, and I want to be that for you.”

  I placed my hand on his arm. “I’m not anyone to prove anything to. I’m a peasant. I was born in a small town on the edge of the Deadlands. My family was uninteresting except that my aunt had been chosen when she was born to be a Sister. They’d come and gotten her. My mother disrespected tradition. She wouldn’t give me to them. So they took me by force and brought me here. For kindness sake, Sister Katrina still took care of them. I’m the worst Sister ever—powers I can’t control and behavior I should be able to. You are all, including you Milo, incredibly kind.”

  I stepped away. “Stay back. All of you. He looks human. It’s the worst kind. A demon of the first order. He’s been here a long time. A monster among us. I won’t have you hurt. Not for anything.”

  I turned. I’d known I would die like this. I hadn’t imagined when I woke with Mason in bed, Garrett by my side, and the sounds of Kiernan, Bryant, and Milo in the other room that it could be today. But another way to handle it was to be grateful. I’d had one night. My rooms had felt warm and so had, for a change, my body.

  I took off my black gloves and dropped them on the snow-covered ground. They made a stark contrast to the white.

  I needed my hands for this demon. We would be wrestling, and one of us would come out on top.

  “Why did you bother with this farce?” I spoke in the old tongue. I knew the demon heard me. He turned, wearing the guise of an attractive human male. To those he’d show himself to, he would be beautiful. Enticing. The end for them. “Or have you forgotten who lives inside those walls behind me, Incubus.”

  He leaned against a tall tree and stepped toward me. “Maybe I wanted to see you, Sister Anne. Maybe your exploits have reached me, and I decided to see whom the Sisterhood sent out these days to battle. Maybe I am in awe of you.”

  His words moved over me like warm water. I could see why women fell for his serpent tongue, why they craved his lies and fell for his charm. I understood why they died for him. But I’d been held the night before, bathed in the light of a true man, and I didn’t need this creature’s evil in my soul.

  “Then you should go. I’m unimpressed, and I don’t require visitors.”

  The incubus went still before he flipped his blond hair over his shoulder. In the snow, he seemed to glow. “You’re further along than I was led to believe. I heard the great Sister Anne didn’t indulge. I thought to bring you pleasure before pain.”

  Enough. I raised my hand. “Be gone with you, evil being.” My symbols burned as my power released. Not in small doses or the weak performance from the fight before, but fully charged and angry. I found his presence abhorrent. I wanted it gone. No more women would succumb to his falsehoods. I would be the last person he saw before he went back from whence he came.

  I hadn’t expected it to be easy, the light coming out of me meeting the darkness in him. The world exploded, and we both deteriorated into nothingness, the beginning and end of things, the first and the last. Only one of us would return.

  My ears rang, the earth moved, shouts, cries, babies being born, men dying, women screaming, the end of days and yet the beginning … I couldn’t fathom my own thoughts as the Incubus wrestled for my soul and I fought to end his existence.

  In the end, my powers failed. But so did his.

  We were evenly matched. I was ready to go because I knew he would too and I’d have the pleasure of watching him disappear. That was when the beings appeared before me. I didn’t have a clue what I looked at. Creatures of white, somehow paler than the snow, floated around me. They had wings, but their faces weren’t human. Smaller and with wide eyes. I could hardly look at them. What were they?

  They all spoke at once; I could hardly make out one from another, yet their words filled my mind.

  Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

  As was the time of old …

  Take what is given to you with love.

  They love you.

  Love what is yours.

  No more fear, no more hoods, no more numbers.

  Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

  I jerked awake, not sure where I was. It took me a moment to realize I was in my bedroom, half-sprawled out on top of Garrett. He sat up, his head against the headboard, snoring. I ached everywhere.

  I pulled myself up gently. Moonlight filled the room, and from its place in the sky, I guessed it was late. When and how had I gotten back here? I needed to pee. Badly.

  Garrett’s eyes flew open, and he smiled at me. “Beautiful lady, thank the Divinity you’re awake.”

  “Pretty sure I was dead, so how I’m here is a surprise to me.”

  His face fell, and he pulled me against him in a tight hug. This was his second hug. The man hardly spoke, but he hugged. I was learning something new every day. “No. You were never dead. The second you beat it—and this time we could see it—we had you. Your heart never faltered.”

  “Hmm.” I closed my eyes. “I need to pee.”

  “Oh.” He laughed, a strange sound coming from him. “Let me help you get there.”

  “I’m sure I can do it.” Except I couldn’t. The second I used my legs, they gave out. Garrett caught me then carried me to my bathroom, where I managed to take care of myself without his help.

  Thank the divinities for small mercies.

  My legs started to cooperate, and I limped out of the bathroom to find all five of my guards waiting. They stared at me with mixed expressions of disbelief. I looked behind me and then back at them. “Something wrong?”

  “You’re awake,” Milo answered. “We weren’t sure you would wake up. Well, Three was sure you would.”

  “That’s why they weren’t in here. No bad energy to mess with your healing.” Garrett shook his head.

  I walked to the bed and sat down. “Honestly, I’m shocked to be here. That was hard. I’ve got some things to say.”

  “First things first.” Bryant walked up to me and shoved the letter in front of my vision before he tore it in half. “You’re never writing one again. It makes me sick that I let you in the first place. I’m too used to doing whatever you say. No more. You don’t die.”

  I held up my hands. “Okay.”

  I think I must have shocked him with my consent because he nodded and scratched his head before he retreated.

  I spoke again. “Couple other things. You’re all going to stay here with me until the thaw. If you’re sick of me by spring, you can go then. But I won’t have you cold. Let them think whatever they want to about that.” I shook my head. “And when we’re alone, we’re using first names. It might make it hard. We’ll figure it out. I have been … lonely. I might not be your favorite person. We’re taught our guards hate us. Well, tough. I’m weird, but I’m kind and I can’t be hated anymore. Please try not to.”

  All five of them sucked in their breaths, but it was Mason who spoke. “You think we hate you? You think I hate you?”

  The implication was there. How could I think that after last night? “Mason, I decided last night you didn’t.”

  Bryant touched his heart. “I could never hate you.”

  Garrett shook his head. “Never.”

  Kieran stepped forward. “Not for one single moment.”

  “I think the thing I said, the awful thing, made you think I could hate you. It wasn’t an insult. I wanted this job with you … to guard you. I heard you are kind, and that is true. But it’s so much more than that. Weird is … amazing.” Milo dropped to his knees.

  I had a lump in my throat. I wasn’t hated? The world tilted on its axis, and I wiped away stray tears. Sisters didn’t cry except, apparently, me. “Few more things. When we’re alone, I’m not wearing that hood. I hate it, and I think being in it gives me fear. I’m afraid in that hood. I’m afraid to die in that hood.”

  Bryant nodded. “Done.”

>   “I liked having Mason with me in the bed last night. If anyone else would like a turn, that would be fine.”

  Mason nodded. “We’ve made up a schedule. None of them were happy being left out last night. I did that without discussion. Everyone … wishes to be with you. We’ll rotate.”

  He didn’t look upset, so I decided not to question his statement. They’d all have to deal. There was one of me and five of them. I wouldn’t force myself on anyone. It had to be their choice. I rubbed my eyes. I’d only just woken up, but I was tired again.

  “I’m sorry … I think I need more rest.”

  Garrett hustled me back into the bed. Lights were turned off, doors closed, and soon I was back, practically lying across Garrett in my big bed with the moon illuminating the night. “I can give you some breathing room.”

  Mason and I had slept side by side. I couldn’t imagine Garrett was comfortable. He shook his head. “I like this. I can feel you on me. I can feel your heart beat and your lungs take in air. This is how I want to be. No room between us.”

  I could also hear his heartbeat, and I let it draw me back to relaxation. “I killed an incubus.”

  “I know.” He kissed the top of my head. “I saw. It was brutal. You’re so strong.”

  “Right now, I feel weak.” Like I couldn’t move at all.

  He drew circles on my back with his fingertip. “Shh. Sleep.”

  So I did.

  When I woke up again, Garrett was asleep, this time silent. I eased off of him to admire his strong profile and the way the he looked on my pillows and in my bed. My powers surged to life like I’d been hit. Why were they doing that? What was going on? Was this to be a nightly thing?

  Garrett’s eyes flew open. Did they all feel my powers so strongly? Mason had woken up with them, too. It drew them from sleep. He didn’t speak but put his hands on both sides of my cheeks, drawing me in to kiss him.

  He didn’t hesitate, nor was he gentle. His mouth consumed mine. Soon I straddled him. One second he wasn’t hard, and the next he was. Garrett pulled back an inch. “I want you like I’ve never wanted anything. Tell me now if it isn’t what you want.”