First Dimension Read online

  “I am listening Hadley, but as usual I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.”

  “No.” She stomped her foot inside the hawk’s claw and the creature screeched. She grimaced. There was no point in hurting the poor thing just because she was ticked. “You’re super smart. I can see that about you and I’m not saying someone has to be smart to understand me, not at all. But I think you’d be the kind of person who could understand anything he set his mind to. No one has understood me, not ever. But I think the reason I feel so drawn to you is because I know you can.”

  “That’s just it. I’m not sure I want to understand you, girl. I knew a Pettigrew once, knew her better than she knew herself and then she was dead, left nothing but ash. I can’t let myself know you, not now, not ever. I hope the Royals can fix you but if they can’t, you’re still just a means to an end to me.”

  Hawk’s words struck Hadley like a gunshot. Over the course of her life she had never felt as used as she had over the last twenty-four hours. It felt as if he’d ripped open her insides. Her father had bred her to conduct some kind of experiment. If she failed the test she’d be dead and then this man—the most physically perfect man she’d ever seen—had used her to open a portal so he could get home.

  She closed her eyes.

  “I didn’t mean that.”

  She opened her eyes, steeling herself to be unaffected by him. Somehow it had to be possible. “Sure you did. You said it. Don’t patronize me by pretending you didn’t mean every word you said. You don’t want to know me? Fine. I don’t want to know you either and as soon as this god-forsaken bird puts us on solid ground, I can assure you, I will find a way to never be in your presence again. Alive or dead.”

  Hawk opened his mouth to speak but she never gave him the chance to continue as she wedged herself deep into the giant creature’s claw so she couldn’t see him, and more importantly he couldn’t see her.

  She’d had enough. Choosing to walk through a portal to another dimension should have given her strength, not made her feel weak … weaker than she had as a child when she’d lay in bed and begged for help with her fever and no one had come. Hadley’s eyes blinked uncontrollably. That entire incident suddenly made more sense. Her father, whom she’d always believed loved her as much as he was capable, had wanted to see how she handled illness, how her immune system worked.

  “Hadley.”

  She shrieked and gripped onto the bird for dear life. Hawk clung to the outside of the claw that held her. One arm wrapped around what she assumed was the hawk’s anklebone.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “I can’t leave things as they are. You’re right; I need to take responsibility for what I said. I wanted to hurt you so I did, but it’s more complicated than that.”

  “First of all, come down from there. I can’t talk to you while I think you’re going to fall.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not going to fall.”

  Her heart pounded in her chest. Oh dear, she was going to have a panic attack if he didn’t come down from his perch. “Please get off the poor thing’s ankle and just join me in here.”

  “I would but our transportation seems to be declining to let me in.”

  “What?”

  “The hawk is refusing to open its claw. It’s mad at me because of what I said to you. Maybe you could tell him its okay to let me in.”

  “You want me to talk to it?”

  “Yes. He understands you.”

  She cleared her throat. “Thank you for caring that he acted like such a jerk. But it’s okay to let him in now.”

  The bird loosened its grip on her enough to let Hawk slip in to sit with her. “I haven’t been fair. I haven’t told you the truth.”

  “The truth?” She felt like a parrot because she needed to repeat nearly everything he said to understand him. It was ridiculous that he claimed she spoke in circles; it was he who was impossible to understand.

  “I can’t let myself know you because I was once in love with your older sister. When she died—let me rephrase that, when she was killed by the poison your father used on her, something inside me shattered. It was terrible in so many ways; death was not something I was prepared for. I assumed she’d be like Zamara since she was her daughter, and we live much longer than you.”

  Hadley had never thought of those other women who came before her as her sisters and the word stung her eyes and caused pain in her stomach. They were her sisters, as much as Hailey was, and they were dead when they should have lived long lives.

  “Which one was she, A through G?” She swallowed, her mouth felt dry.

  “A. Her name was Annabelle and she was a redhead like you. Well, sort of like you.”

  Hadley didn’t like being compared unfavorably to anyone but she supposed she could forgive it since he’d loved the woman.

  “I’m sorry for your loss, Hawk. Some time you should tell me about her. But, I think it just confirms what I already knew. You and I should spend as little time together as possible.”

  He nodded, although she thought she saw regret in his eyes. She chose to ignore that while she pretended her own words hadn’t caused her so much distress she couldn’t breathe.

  It was completely wrong to feel jealous of one’s dead sister.

  Chapter Eight

  As the giant bird landed in front of his childhood home, balancing perfectly on its ankles as only trained carriers could do, Hawk should have felt a thrill by the bird’s skill, would have, if his thoughts were not otherwise occupied. Hadley had done her best impression of a mute for the remainder of the trip. She was either very angry with him or so hurt she just couldn’t utter words. The truth was he should never have told her about Annabelle. There was no reason for her to know and now that she did, he would always wonder if she pitied him.

  The hawk touched the ground gently, with hardly a bump, but Hadley grimaced as though she’d just been through a jostling. He smiled openly. For someone so brave, the woman had some hang-ups that just couldn’t be ignored.

  She glared at him. “Don’t laugh at me, Hawk. I’m sure there is something in this world or another that you’re afraid of. If I happen to still be living and I have the good luck to witness your terror, I can assure you, I will not make fun of you.”

  He cleared his throat. There was no point in playing tit-for-tat with her right now. It hadn’t even been a full hour since he’d unleashed his nasty temper on her and been deliberately awful. She could still take shots at him if she wanted to.

  “So, this is my ancestral home.”

  “It’s beautiful, like a stone cottage in New England only twice as big.”

  It was a good description, very apt, and he was surprised it had never occurred to him to make that comparison the entire time he’d lived in her dimension.

  “My family has been in the Warrior class for eight generations. That means we train to be and then eventually become protectors of the Royal Family.”

  She nodded, stepping down from the bird’s claw and ignoring the hand he offered her. “I gathered that much. You were, after all, sent with Zamara on her dimensional trip gone bad. All the men call you their Prince but you don’t associate yourself with the royals so I assumed that meant you were the head of whatever clan or group you all belong to.”

  He needed to remember how smart and intuitive she was. Hadley was not a woman who needed things explained to her. Annabelle had been sweet and funny but if he’d ever attempted to explain all of the intricate details of this, the poor dear’s head might have exploded.

  Shaking his head, he felt awful for having thought that. What kind of person remembered the woman they had loved as anything but the perfect being they were?

  Hadley walked towards his house, her arms crossed in front of her chest. He couldn’t help but admire the tight, snug cling of her pajama pants on her rear end. Swallowing, he tried to ignore the tug on his groin. There were other things to focus on, like getting t
he girl some clothes, since she still wore the sleeping attire she’d been in when they kidnapped her.

  Hawk turned around and petted the bird that had flown them here. The screech in its throat was the entire acknowledgement he got before it took off, practically shooting from the ground as it regained the sky. The other birds that had brought the warriors took off after it in a single file line.

  He missed the bird dance his previous flock would have engaged in. But he hadn’t earned adoration from this group. In fact, they were lucky they had come to pick them up at all. He sighed.

  “My prince.” Stone’s voice garnered his attention.

  Hawk realized what a terrible host he was. “You have been to my home before, yes?”

  Stone motioned his head in the direction of the house and Hawk followed his gaze. Hadley stood at the doorway speaking with an elderly woman. Walking forward, Hawk focused his attention on the woman in the doorway. Who was that? Had his family hired new help? It wouldn’t surprise him but it still seemed strange. His father had employed the same people for a thousand years. Feeling suddenly like he needed to run, he picked up his pace. When he reached the front door, his heart pounded.

  “Hawk, your mother was just welcoming us.” Hadley’s smile seemed genuine as she turned her attention from the older woman to him.

  “Please call me Leopard, my dear.” His mother turned her attention from Hadley to look at him. “Welcome home, my son.”

  The woman’s voice shook and Hawk narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t utter a word. Certainly, she resembled his mother. But this woman who was far too old to be his mother. There should have another thousand years before she looked like this. Had she gotten ill?

  “Mother.” It seemed an inane thing to say but under the circumstances, he wasn’t sure what else could be said. Hadley sucked in her breath. This was obviously not the reaction she would have expected after his long absence.

  The woman who had given birth to him reached out and touched his arm. “I can only imagine your questions.” She raised her voice so all of his men could hear her. “Come inside all of you.”

  The smell of cooked pheasant wafted through the air and Hawk took a deep breath. There was no doubt he was home in his mother’s kitchen. He could almost imagine her saying the prayer of thanks to the animals for the bounty. He’d watched her do it a thousand times as a child but he’d all but forgotten it in two hundred years.

  Hawk stood dumbfounded as his mother meticulously laid out the dining room table for company. He had so many questions, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. How did you inquire of the woman who bore you why she had suddenly gotten so old?

  When the plates were served and everyone was seated, his mother reached out and grabbed his arm.

  “I am not as you expected me.”

  Hawk shook his head. “Mother, I did not think you would have aged this much in such a short period of time.”

  Hadley laughed. “I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that to all of you the time you spent on earth was a short period of time.”

  “What should have been a short jaunt became well longer than expected. Everyone thought you’d be back in less than a hundred years,” his mother uttered solemnly.

  “As we would have, Mother, had things gone as they should. I advised the Princess not to go to that cursed blue planet.” Hawk couldn’t hide the contempt in his voice or miss the flare in Hadley’s eyes when he said it.

  “The seers have watched you for some time. We’ve all hoped and prayed for your return.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I took an oath to protect the Princess. It eats at me every second I am here that she is still there.”

  His mother nodded, tears in her eyes. “I know my son. I’ve always understood what happened, as did the Royals. But, I’m afraid Zamara’s exit did more than break our hearts figuratively.”

  “Please, Madame Leopard, won’t you explain more?” Stone sat at the edge of his seat. “Please forgive me, but it is not just your appearance that has struck us as odd. The roads, this entire place seems to be in disarray.”

  “It is.” She sighed. “And you haven’t even gotten to Astor yet.”

  “Why did Zamara’s leaving do this?” Hawk could feel his pulse pounding in every part of his body. Now he wasn’t just responsible for Zamara’s captivity and forced breeding but for the destruction of his entire world.

  “It seems, and we were all completely unaware of this before, that in order for the metaphysical strength to continue on Haven there needs to be a balance within the Royal Family. You will recall that Zamara’s aunt, the Princess Ledroina moved on to the next plane of existence right before you left. Zamara held the same power as she did—the healing, life-sustaining abilities that kept this place thriving and our people young and thriving for many generations.”

  Hadley tapped her finger on the table on what Hawk thought must be an unconscious gesture. “So when my mother left, things started to age more quickly, to fall apart?”

  His mother nodded. “Absolutely correct. It hit the older generation first, they are almost all gone, and now my generation is affected. All of the younger people—your contemporaries and younger—have been sent to Astor for testing and evaluation to see if anyone holds enough of that ability to perhaps save us.”

  “So that is where Rabbit and Dragon are.” Hawk looked at his hands. He’d been in such a state of anxiety he hadn’t even asked about his older brother and younger sister.

  “That’s right darling.” His mother coughed violently and held a napkin against her mouth.

  “And Dad?”

  “We lost him six months ago.” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes but did not fall. Hawk was not surprised. Women like his mother, the kind who could be married to a Warrior, and raise a Warrior man, did not cry even over the death of their beloveds. That was something he’d appreciated about women from Earth: if they loved someone and that person died, it was considered perfectly appropriate for them to express their grief in a physical manner.

  If his mother had been the center of his life at home, impressing their father had been the focus of his existence outside of the house. His father had once fought, nearly to the death, to protect the king from an attack by a would-be conqueror from the Tribunal Dimension. He had wanted nothing more than to honor his family in the same way. Hawk’s first trip out of his own dimension and things had gone so terribly awry that not only had he failed the Princess, his father was now dead. Grief and self-loathing threatened to overwhelm him.

  Hawk closed his eyes.

  Hadley gently touched his arm. “There was no way you could have known, Hawk. You were doing everything you could to protect Zamara until there was simply nothing else to do. Like everyone has been telling me, two hundred years is not that long of a stretch here.” Hadley’s voice sounded so sincere. He opened his eyes to see her staring intently at him. Ridiculously, her belief in him made him feel slightly better. “Am I wrong or have you never faced this problem before because you always had more than one person in the Royal Family with the particular ability, right? There was always at least one person present who had whatever it was everyone needed.”

  His mother nodded her assent to Hadley’s question and he smiled at how well they already got along. He knew he’d have to face the music with the Royals in the morning at Astor, but for now it was good to be home and it was exceptional to have Hadley believe in him, especially because he had yet to do anything to earn her trust.

  “There’s more.” His mother sighed and her crinkled face looked so worn and distraught that he wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all.

  “What’s that?”

  He looked at his men. They sat stoically in silence, each absorbing every blow as he expected they would. Somewhere over the last two centuries they had all become accepting of bad news, as it was the norm. Optimism was no longer a word in their vocabulary.

  “The Great Ones have stopped speaking to the Royals. They�
�ve abandoned Haven.”

  Hawk sucked in his breath. This was dire news. In all the history of Haven, the Great Ones had never vanished. They had been a constant comfort to the Royal Family, Astor, and all of Haven. It had distressed him to no end to see them hunted and pursued on earth.

  “Who are the Great Ones?” Hadley’s eyes were wide.

  “They’re the animals of the Royal Family. Well, not really. No one calls them their own animal. There’s never been anyone born who could command them but they’ve always spoken to the royal family, advised them, and helped. With every dimension we visited, their elusiveness was the same. It’s really amazing, actually. Nowhere had anyone ever really seen one and certainly we never found them in any aquariums or cages.” He hadn’t given it much thought before, there had been no time but now it seemed so clear. “Some animals are missing from certain dimensions. The first time I saw an elephant on Earth I stood like an idiot with my mouth open. We don’t have them in Haven, but the Great Ones are everywhere and nowhere have they been captured alive.”

  “I know what you’re talking about, Hawk.” Hadley’s pupils were big. She closed her mouth and he realized he’d never seen someone sit so perfectly still and yet seem so completely unglued before.

  “You searched for them yourself, Hadley. They eluded you.”

  She paused for a moment and when she spoke, her voice sounded rough. “Sort of.”

  This was going to be one of those situations where he had no idea the direction of her thoughts. “What do you mean?”

  “Before I got here, before you explained to me about my mother’s heritage and brought me here, I thought they were just dreams.” She audibly swallowed. “But when we were dimension-hopping and I was so afraid that I was going to die because there was so much pain, I heard it when I was awake too.”

  Hawk’s heart pounded. He had no idea what she was about to say but it was one of those moments in life where he was certain something of significance was about to happen. “Heard what, darling?”

  His mother turned her head sharply to look at him and he had no idea why, but he only wanted to look at Hadley. It was as if he’d suddenly developed tunnel vision and his whole world revolved around her.