Loving Them (Wings of Artemis Book 5) Read online

  Tommy continued, “Clay and I made the decision to leave our father and go off with our younger brothers. I’m not going to tell you why. Not ever. If that means that I never have your trust, then so be it. You said you guys are careful with each other. I get that. You have a small circle of people you trust. So do I. We can help each other, and as far as my—”

  Quinn stepped forward, and I heard Keith groan before his twin started speaking. “I was ten years old the first time my father asked me to devise a plan that would help him beat down the universe under his thumb. I designed one for him every year until I was old enough to realize it wasn’t a game. The ways he’s been winning have been mostly my fault.”

  “When you were ten?” Wes shook his head. “I didn’t think I could think less of Garrison. I was wrong. That’s abuse. I hope you understand that.”

  “Sometimes I do; sometimes I don’t.” He looked away. “My brain doesn’t work exactly like other people’s.”

  Melissa finally spoke again. “You left your whole life behind to protect your family.” She spoke directly to Tommy before she looked at Clay. “Of course you did. That’s what family does, isn’t it? The right family, anyway.”

  Nolan nodded. “We certainly get what it means to protect those you love. You weren’t going to tell us about Quinn because you’re loyal to him, and he told us because he’s loyal to all of you. Just one more question and then we’ll all relax, eat something, and begin deciding how we can help each other tomorrow.”

  Keith had been quiet; he tended to stay that way when the others were talking, but now he spoke up. “What’s that?”

  “Did you use Paloma to get to us? Because if that’s what this is, then it can stop now. I won’t like that you did it, none of us here will, but I would understand. Survival comes before everything else. So if this was an elaborate means to get into this office today, then you’ve succeeded. We’ll take responsibility for the girl.”

  My heart stopped beating for a moment. No, that wasn’t possible. Was it? I knew that Quinn had to win. But even he wouldn’t have been… they loved me. They’d told me they did. They’d proposed. This was—

  I wasn’t so much pulled as yanked against Tommy’s side. “Whether or not we ever decide to work together on this, Paloma leaves with us. She’s ours. And so help anyone who tries to get in between us—whether with insinuations or otherwise.”

  The other three were around me then, too.

  Nolan nodded. “That’s what I thought. Just had to check. We feel responsible for her. Let’s be clear. Her own parents are out of the picture and good riddance to them, but we’re here. She’s not alone in the universe. She’s protected.”

  I had never heard Nolan speak a word against anyone or for anyone outside of his family. Did he really feel that way about me?

  “She is.” Clay nodded. “By us.”

  “Okay.” Melissa clapped her hands together. “There is way too much testosterone in this room right now. Let’s eat. Shall we?”

  Keith kissed my cheek. “For just about two seconds, you doubted us. Some day you won’t. Some day, if any stupid idiot tries to say that we don’t really love you, you won’t even blink. You might even laugh. That’s how ridiculous the notion will be.”

  I guessed we weren’t going to jail. Or maybe not. The night was still young.

  The rest of the dinner was less… tense. Diana was missing, but her father and uncles had gone after her with a machine Wes thought would allow them to chase her time stream. I looked at the window as they spoke. From where we were on Mars Station, I should be able to see the black hole if it was open, which it wasn’t.

  Outside looked like nothing but black, endless space.

  Wes sipped his drink. “I wondered why Rochambeau blew up when I saw it on the sensors. For the record, there isn’t a spaceship built that could match our defenses. We take them out time and again. What concerns us is them getting in and placing weapons here. Beating us from the inside out.” Everyone had something alcoholic but me. I still had never tried any.

  Quinn tapped me under the table with his leg, and I met his gaze. A questioning look crossed his face. He didn’t know what I was thinking. How to explain that my mind didn’t want to focus on anything… that I was utterly lost between the time long gone and this one. I didn’t know where Diana was in the universe, but I would bet she was less lost than me and—

  Keith’s hand came down on mine. “I think Paloma is exhausted.”

  Melissa nodded. “Of course you all are. You must have had more than enough of today.”

  And just like that it was over. I was back on Mars Station although I didn’t know for how long. We were almost certainly about to be under attack. I might be getting married the next day. And, yes, Keith was right. I was really, really tired.

  I woke up in the dark, a strong arm around me. I blinked. It took me a few moments to figure out where I was. I didn’t remember getting back to the rooms. A general sense of walking slowly with Tommy’s arm around me was all I could recall. I was still dressed, minus my shoes.

  I put my hand over the arm around my waist and tried to turn slightly to see which one of the guys was with me. It was Clay. His eyes were closed, but his mouth moved. I smiled. He had conversations in his sleep. He looked peaceful. I took a deep breath.

  What had woken me? There was no light anywhere, which meant that we were still in the nighttime hours. During the day, unless a code was entered into the system, the main room would always have some light regardless of whether or not we kept the rest of the rooms perpetually blackened. The rest of the station functioned on a twenty-four hour, thirty-nine minute, thirty-five second clock, like Mars nearby. Tommy had kept the shuttle on a twenty-four hour Earth clock so there wasn’t that big of a difference.

  Nothing to really get used to in terms of time changes.

  So why was I awake?

  I must have moved a bit too much because Clay shifted, a long sigh escaping his lips. He didn’t wake. At least his body clock knew he was supposed to be asleep.

  I managed to squirm out of his arms. I had to pee, and putting it off was only going to make me more uncomfortable. We were in my parents’ room. I hadn’t told the guys anything about who had lived where in the rooms. Mine was smaller and across the hall with the smallest having belonged to my sister. My guess would be Keith and Quinn were sharing and Tommy was alone.

  I took care of myself in the bathroom, ending by splashing some water on my face. I needed to get a grip. Okay, it was the middle of the night, and I was back on Mars Station. I was bound to be a little… off.

  I turned off the water and walked back into the bedroom. Clay sat up, his head against the headboard. He extended his hand, and I walked toward him, taking his outstretched fingers into my own. I let him draw me to him.

  My head came down on his chest, and his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace. “Bad dreams?”

  I shook my head. “No. I have no idea why I’m awake.”

  “The bed was cold without you. That’s why I am not sleeping. Was I snoring?”

  I smiled against his chest. “No.”

  Clay adjusted our positions until we were face-to-face. He kissed me lightly on the lips. I sighed against his mouth, and he delved deeper. His breath was warm and sweet. Clay’s hands were on my back, lightly stroking my skin underneath my shirt. He seemed to be in no hurry to do anything but kiss me, and I closed my eyes, letting myself just feel what his mouth was like against mine.

  I moved my hands under his shirt to feel his chest. Beneath my fingers, he jumped. I smiled against his mouth. It was nice to know he had such a strong reaction to just my fingers on his skin.

  He pulled back to look at me, his hand coming to cup my cheek. “If you asked us to, we’d give all of it up. Yes, even Tommy. Even Quinn. We’d stay here, or we’d go somewhere else, somewhere safe. I don’t know where that is. But we’d find it. And go there. Just live with you.”

  His words moved th
rough me. “You guys have devoted yourselves to trying to help, ever since you left. I would never ask you to be less than you are. I wouldn’t want to be with you knowing that I had asked you to… stop. Unless that’s what you want? Is this one of those situations where you want me to stay stop because you really want to stop?”

  Clay shook his head. “I want what you want. Weird to be back?”

  I couldn’t help the little laugh that moved through me. “We’re basically making out in my parents’ bed.”

  Even in the dark I could see his smile. “Is your dad going to walk in here and rip me away?”

  I knew he hadn’t thought about what he just said. “No, he already did that to me once. I don’t think there’s another Sisterhood around to ship me off to.”

  Clay’s grin faded. “I’m sorry, baby; I didn’t think. That was totally thoughtless.”

  I shrugged. “I love you, Clay.”

  He pulled me back against him with my head against his chest. His heart beat strongly. “I love you, too.”

  I lay in his arms listening to his heartbeat. The last time I’d been in this room I had been on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness. I’d grabbed onto the bottom of my mother’s long skirts, and I had begged like I was still a small child instead of an almost completely grown woman as I pleaded with her to intervene with my father.

  By the universe Mom, I made a mistake. Please. Please. Please. I’d sobbed, thrown myself on the ground. I had made a mistake, and I’d never tried to deny it. How could I? I’d been caught red-handed, and whether or not my parents held antiquated beliefs about sex, I was their daughter and I’d broken the rules.

  I’d lived off their goodwill. My virginity had been a commodity they would have sold to, as it turned out, Tommy Sandler. What would have happened if I’d made a different choice? Would Mars Station be under attack by the Sandler Cartel? Would my marrying a Sandler back then have given Mars Station a truce from this war?

  Then again, what I knew from history was that Tommy would not have made our meeting and would not have married me. He was too busy rescuing Quinn to show up for an engagement contract. We’d both stood each other up.

  Please. Please. Please. I wish I hadn’t begged her.

  “Clay?” He wasn’t breathing like he was asleep or I wouldn’t have spoken again.

  “Hmm?” Clay tugged me tighter. “Try to sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

  I couldn’t sleep, not til I asked him a question that I knew he wouldn’t have an answer for. “Do you think my parents care that I’m dead? I mean, they think that I’m dead. Or they will when they find out about the Sisterhood.” The Alexanders hadn’t known about the explosion until they’d been informed at dinner. “They wiped their hands of me. Do you think they care that I’m dead?”

  He wiped my bangs off my forehead. “No wonder you can’t sleep. That’s some pretty heavy-duty awful you’re carrying around. How could they not care? You’re the most wonderful woman there ever was. I bet they care or they will care. They are going to feel like a universe’s amount of mistakes has piled onto their shoulders, and they’ll never be okay again. And if they don’t feel that way, then they’re not worth anything.”

  I breathed in his scent. “I wasn’t the same then as I am now.”

  “You were their daughter. They should have done better.”

  He was right.

  The smell of coffee woke me the next morning, which was the only reason I knew I’d fallen back asleep. I lay on Clay’s arm, which was under my neck. His head was turned away from me, and he seemed to be still in a deep sleep.

  But the coffee beckoned. I got out of the bed and quietly made my way into the kitchen. Tommy stood with a cup of coffee in his hand, shirtless, reading something on his tablet.

  “Hey.” I walked toward him, and he set down the tablet so I could hold onto his side. “Sleep well?”

  He shrugged. “Not as well as I sleep when I have you with me. How did you sleep?”

  We’d slept in the same bed together exactly once. I wasn’t going to point that out. “I woke up once with a lot in my head. Clay talked me down.”

  “Do you want to continue to discuss it or better to leave it alone?”

  I poked him in the chest. His very hard, beautifully defined chest. By the universe, Tommy was hot. But I couldn’t let myself get distracted. “You’re not getting out of talking about The Rochambeau by letting me out of talking about my parental issues.”

  He set down his coffee. “How did you catch that so fast?”

  “Can’t get one past me Tommy McQueen or Sandler. Whatever you’ve decided to be called at this point. I need coffee.”

  When I would have moved to get my own, he stopped me and did it instead, handing me a cup before he poured milk into it. I sipped the brew. “Thank you.”

  He nodded. “Okay, look. The Rochambeau incident that you want to talk about, as I will always think of it now, let’s get this over with. Quinn blew up the ship. Truth? I would have blown it up, too. Eventually. I would have gotten Keith to adjust our course first, but we managed. He saved me from having to carry that guilt. It’s fine.”

  “Liar.”

  He raised his eyebrows slowly. “Come again?”

  “You’re lying. You didn’t want to blow up The Rochambeau, and I think you didn’t want to kill Cousin Holden or the others on the ship. I think you would like to think you’d have blown it up because it absolves Quinn of some of the ramifications of the fact that he killed a ship full of combatants without giving it much thought.”

  He looked down at his coffee. “My cousin Holden was the only child of my uncle Quinn. He was the brother closest in age to my father. He died very young, but he’d impregnated a young woman named Willa. Willa died having Holden, who was then raised by his aunt far away from us. But every year he would come and live with us for a month. And I would have to hear for that entire month about how perfect Holden was.”

  I was starting to see. “Your father gave him Rochambeau when you left.”

  “Yes. He was such a pain in the ass. If I’d kept my mouth shut and Clay hadn’t called you in, then he wouldn’t be dead because I was annoyed about my ship. Quinn would have never known anything about it.”

  I pointed at him. “You’re going to take responsibility for what Quinn did, somehow. It’s your fault? Because you spoke aloud?”

  “I think what Quinn did was the right decision. They would have caught us, and then they would have killed us. I’m just not sure I would have been man enough to do it. I think I would have let him go. All of that tells me one thing: I’m not General Sandler anymore. I think you’re going to have to stick to calling me McQueen.” He winked at me. “So we’ll have to call you Mrs. McQueen. Later today, when you marry us.”

  I’d forgotten. They wanted to get married today. “I…” I looked down at myself. I wasn’t as vain as I used to be, but I wasn’t looking anywhere nearly as beautiful as I wanted to be on my wedding day. “I’m going to have to get pretty.”

  He pressed his forehead to mine. “You’re the most beautiful woman ever. So getting pretty would be an impossibility since you’re already there.”

  “Still. It’s a girl thing. If we’re getting married later, I have to get fixed up.”

  He stepped back. “Whatever you need, love. Always.”

  4

  The Price of Beauty

  Quinn ran to catch up to me as I hurried toward the beauty salon. I’d been able, basically by begging, to get a bridal appointment, but I had to hurry to get there. “Are you coming with me?”

  “Walking you there.” He put his arm around me. “One of us with you. Sorry. I know it might get annoying, but after what happened with the bounty hunter, you’re going to have one of us with you almost all the time.”

  I should get my back up and insist I didn’t need that kind of tending, but I liked it. I knew what alone felt like—the kind of solitude that didn’t come from needing space but from having n
o one ever in my corner. I’d take slightly stifled over that any day of the week.

  I stopped moving as a thought dawned on me. “Are you going to stay at the hair salon the whole time?” I couldn’t think of anyone on the planet less equipped to deal with that kind of day than Quinn. He was going to be bored beyond his limits, and then he’d probably get in trouble thanks to the boredom, and then who knew what would happen.

  “No.” He shook his head, a smile on his face. “I’m just walking you there. Then I’m going to go with Tommy to sit down with Nolan and Wes. They want to see the original plan for domination I made for Dad and what I’ve been working through since. Keith is working on the shuttle—he wants to make the phasing better—and Clay has to talk to one of his clients. Use your tablet to get one of us, and we’ll walk you from the salon to whatever is happening next or back to the room or wherever.”

  One small problem with that. “I don’t have a tablet.” And I hadn’t thought to borrow one.

  “Oh, our fault.” He took my hand. “The salon will have a comm system. Reach out with theirs. We’ll come get you, and I’m going to get you a tablet.”

  I hated not having any money of my own. I took and took and took from them. “Quinn.” My voice shook, and he stopped moving, his eyes instantly on mine.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t have money for the salon either.” The credit my father had here would be long gone. “I wasn’t thinking. I should have been. We can go back to the room and…”

  He silenced me with a gentle kiss. “You’re my fiancée. It’s my pleasure to pay for it. We have a lot of credit. Okay? And who knows how long it’ll be good? If my father wins, all the money we have will be meaningless. He’ll establish his own financing… so, let’s go ahead and use it, shall we?”

  “I swore when I left the Sisterhood I wouldn’t be dependent again.” Voicing my concerns didn’t make them go away, but at least he’d understand.