Endless Page 4
What had he done? He wasn’t quite ready to shift back yet. He could if he insisted. Except for the times when he completely gave himself over, he could always make the wolf give back control. Right now, he wanted to calm a little bit before he shifted. He’d bark at everyone in his human form, and that meant yelling.
Why was Clarissa on her knees? This was his mate. She needed to be strong and proud. The scent of her illness wafted over him, and he remembered. Yes, she wasn’t well. Yet.
He lowered his eyes. He’d failed this woman before he ever met her. Or re-met her. She should never have been on her own where she could be swept up in the pain of the world. If he had to be gone, she should have been protected under the care of his family.
In his wolf form, things were simple. There was right. There was wrong. There was protecting and caring. There was love. There was family. Death didn’t come with regret. It happened. As was natural.
“August, can you hear me?”
He raised his gaze. He could.
“Thank you for doing that. I’ve never seen anything like that, and the males here who have fought before said they’ve never seen anything like it either.”
Cal dropped to his knees. “Why couldn’t you have been our leader when we were fighting?”
There were lots of reasons and that was a human discussion. So much for getting a minute. He shifted back to his human form. The first thing he did as soon as he could move seconds later was touch Clarissa’s cheek. “Stand up, mate. You don’t ever kneel around me.”
He rose, taking her hand in his when he did. She dropped her gaze, and he sighed. He’d botched that. She thought he was upset with her now.
“Look…”
August never got to finish his thought. As soon as Clarissa rose, her knees buckled and she fainted into his arms.
No.
His wolf, still close inside of him, howled. He would not lose her. She was breathing, but they were going to have to move fast.
Clarissa had roused once to murmur something he couldn’t understand. As long as she was breathing, he was happy. Closing in on pack territory, Auggie was greeted by his brother, the Alpha himself, and his two younger brothers, as well as several other members of the pack. He didn’t know if his auspicious welcome was because he was the Alpha’s brother or because sentries he hadn’t spotted had seen their approach.
With his mate unconscious and on his back, Auggie hadn’t done a great job of watching for spies. He didn’t care. He wanted Robert to know he was coming.
It was possible that Robbie had simply known August was coming. They did occasionally have that twin connection.
“My Alpha.” Auggie had encouraged Robbie to take the role. He needed to give him the respect of it now. “I started out with twenty-five; now I have twenty-three. On my back is my mate. She is nearly dead. Would you please help me?”
Robert raised his eyebrows. “You think you need to ask? This is your pack. Guys, help them. Now.”
Things moved fast then. The twenty-two souls he’d gotten here were taken from him. Robbie’s pack had grown. Auggie didn’t know all the males who approached to help, but when Homer—his friend and ally when he’d first set out to chase dragons—tried to take Clarissa, Auggie growled at him. What’s more, he meant it. If Homer made one other move toward August’s mate, Auggie would tear open his throat.
Intellectually, August understood this was ridiculous. She needed help. He was going to have to pass her to someone. But Auggie couldn’t let go. He held her body to his own, knowing that doing so might be the only reason she still had a pulse.
“Auggie,” Robert said his name, but his twin couldn’t take his eyes off Homer.
His friend nodded. “She smells like the dragon drug. I was addicted to it myself. Earlier this year, I was kidnapped and the addiction was forced on me. We can help her. But you have to give her to me. I have a mate. I have a daughter. You can trust me, as you always used to.”
Homer’s words were a balm to his temper. If Homer understood her pain, then he was, perhaps, the right wolf for the job. August did trust him. If Homer had a mate and a daughter, then even more so. He would understand how precious she was to Auggie, even though Clarissa and August didn’t know each other yet.
Everything was happening in the wrong order.
August gave her to Homer, who nodded to him one more time. “I’ll see to it that she is in your home.”
His home? Oh, that was right. He had one. When he’d been here very briefly, he had picked out a house. Why had he forgotten that? He had a mate; it was a good thing he had a place to live.
“Homer…”
He didn’t know what he wanted to say, exactly. It didn’t seem to matter. Homer nodded to him and took off with his mate.
“We’ve had some success treating the addiction. A step down process that Tatyana developed. It works. It’s not easy. But they don’t die.” Robert put his arm around Auggie. It had been such a long time since they’d been together. For two people who had spent almost no time apart, the last year had been strange.
He found his voice. “She’s Clarissa Knox.”
Robert sucked in his breath. “What is it with us and females from that gene pool?”
Auggie had asked himself the same question. “There are fields of dragon eggs inside a mountain two to three days walk from here. The dragons are chasing me because I saw it. I think. I might be… losing it.”
Robbie squeezed his shoulder. “I know the feeling. Whatever is coming for you comes for all of us. We’ll talk about the dragons if they show up or after your mate is well. Your head will be clearer after she’s okay. Trust me, I know.”
He would. Robert had almost lost his mate, too. August had resisted this. He hadn’t been ready to come home and live like a pack after everything they’d done and seen. But now he had to admit: it was more than nice to be back.
“I have to get to Clarissa. I can’t leave her alone.”
Robert nodded. “Go.”
His house was unfurnished except for a bed where his mate thrashed in her sleep—a sight he liked better than the utter stillness she’d had before. Robert’s mate, Tatyana, was in with her. She’d kicked him out of the room for a little bit, which left August standing in the empty living room surrounded by Caitlyn and Lena, the mates of his brothers Dougal and Devin.
They were also Clarissa’s sisters. The girls next door he and his brothers had never particularly noticed. How had all of this happened? With everyone who’d died, how was it possible they were all still here?
The thought jarred him. His mate wasn’t out of the woods yet.
He stayed still. That’s what he always did. If he didn’t react, people left him to his own company. Most of the time that was best.
“It’s just crazy to me that this could happen to Clarissa.” Lena sighed. “She was the steadiest out of all of us. Elizabeth, yes. It makes sense she’d do what she did. But Clarissa?”
She wasn’t speaking to him, but he answered anyway. “This has happened to most of our population. Steady, unsteady, or somewhere in the middle. I realize Robbie has made you a haven here, but don’t forget what the reality is the second you step outside the borders.”
Lena raised her eyebrows. “I wasn’t judging Clarissa, August. She’s my sister. I love her.”
“You were, actually.” He should absolutely not be talking to Devin’s mate like this. Mates were to be respected. If he had a problem, he should take it up with Devin. He understood that. But that was Auggie’s mate she spoke of. Despite the fact he didn’t know her reasons for having done what she did—or really anything about her—he’d put himself between Clarissa and anyone who criticized her. Sister, brother’s mate, whomever.
Caitlyn walked to him and put her hand on his arm. “You’re right, of course. We’ve seen this, but only with Homer and the others who were forced into it during their captivity. We don’t really know what it’s like out there anymore. I’m so sorry to hear that s
o many people are suffering.”
He sighed. “I’m not some sort of do-gooder. I was hunting dragons. I only started thinking about this when I met Clarissa. She saved my life, despite how weak she is.”
“Knox girls are made of tough material,” Lena said, coming to stand next to August. “I…”
Just at that moment, Devin and Dougal came through the door. They must have gotten the rest of Clarissa’s pack situated in other places. He’d have to ask. Despite the fact he’d have preferred otherwise, they were now his responsibility until Robert took them in permanently—if he did.
What were they going to do if his brother didn’t?
August pushed away that thought. Dougal, who had one hand since his terrible time in a dragon prison, hugged him, and then Devin followed. His wolf settled just a little bit. He wouldn’t be comfortable until Clarissa was out of danger, but like earlier with Robert, they could both feel the truth—this was home.
This was pack.
This was solid ground.
“I was just going to apologize to August.” Lena looked at the ground. “I said something stupid that I didn’t even mean, and I love my sister. I’m… worried.”
Devin pulled his mate against his side. “Hey now, I’m sure there was nothing you could say that would be so bad. August doesn’t really get caught up in small details. You’re not angry at my mate, right brother?”
August would have to be an idiot to miss the threat in his brother’s voice or the sudden uptick of adrenaline from Devin. In the past, he’d have thrashed his little brother just to teach him how to fight. They weren’t children anymore, and Auggie had a mate struggling for life in the other room. How long was this going to take Tatyana anyway?
“No, of course not.” He nodded toward Lena. “I’m sorry, Sister, if I misunderstood your intent. It’s been a long week.”
Devin’s temper cooled, and August leaned against the wall to wait some more. His brothers talked to their mates while Auggie turned his attention to the other room. Tatyana’s scent remained calm, and some of the pain had left Clarissa’s scent. He took a deeper breath. Yes, Clarissa was easing. As if the thought of her made her appear, Tatyana left his mate’s side and came out to him.
“Well, it’s obviously very bad. You couldn’t have gotten here a moment later. Well done doing this at all. Twenty-three of them across two days. Wow.”
“I lost two.” He didn’t know why he felt compelled to tell her. “Clarissa?”
She touched his arm. “Robbie would be obsessing about the two as well.”
“I’m not obsessing.” Was he?
Tatyana ignored his remark. “She was dehydrated. I’ve taken care of that and given her a low dose of the drug. We’re going to step her down. It works. She’s going to be cranky. Angry sometimes. But she’ll get through it.” She patted his arm. “I’ll be back every day to dose her. She’s sleeping right now. Calmly. I’d be surprised if she got up before morning. Get some rest. You’ve lost twenty pounds since I last saw you. Granted, you seem to be all muscle right now, but I think people could actually tell you and Robbie apart, you look so different.”
He shrugged. What he looked like wasn’t at all concerning to him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Going to go see everyone else.” She nodded to Lena and Caitlyn before she left.
Dougal called from the other room. “We’re going to go, too. Give you some alone time. If you need us, we’re here.”
“Thanks.” Did he need them? He listened to the sounds of them leaving his empty house. Auggie walked on quiet feet towards Clarissa and sank to the floor. She could have the bed. It was hers. They didn’t know each other well enough to share it yet. If ever. She might not want that kind of a mating. There were stories about people who lived together, side-by-side, and didn’t share the kind of intimacy his parents had known.
His mate fought for her life, and he was clueless about how to proceed with her. Auggie couldn’t even blame this on the fact they’d hardly spoken. He would have been clueless with any mate—even if they’d had a million conversations before he bit down. Relationships weren’t his forte.
Did he need his family? No. Truth was, he needed nothing when it really came down to it. There were things he wanted. Pack, apparently, was one of them. But he’d long ago learned how to do without.
His wolf shifted inside of him, bumping him slightly before settling for the night. Okay. Maybe he was lying to himself. He needed the tiny woman on the bed. From the moment he’d heard her voice—he needed her.
4
Clarissa was in a bed. That was the first thought in her mind when she opened her eyes. When was the last time she had been in a bed? She looked around, her gaze finding her mate immediately. She’d probably always seek him in a room before she looked for anything else, just to make sure she hadn’t dreamed him up.
His head was on his knees, which were tucked against his chest, his back pressed to the wall. That couldn’t be comfortable. Why was he on the floor? And why did she feel so good? Not perfect, but better than she had in a long time.
She rose, and August’s head shot up. He was on his feet almost the second her feet touched the ground.
“Are you okay?”
Clarissa rubbed at her eyes. “Feels a little weird to be wherever here is. The last thing I remember is relief you took down that dragon.”
“That was yesterday. You’re with the pack now. Your sisters are here. You’re safe.”
His words were meant to soothe her, but hearing them set off a small pounding in the back of her head. “My sisters.”
Auggie cocked his head to the side. “Do you not like your sisters?”
“I do, very much. I just never thought to see them again and certainly not in my present situation. What is my present situation, by the way? I feel sort of good right now.”
He walked over to the window. “Some sort of step down process that will eventually get you off the drugs. Do you wish to shower? There is hot water. And one of my brothers brought by some food last night and left it in the kitchen. We can eat.”
He was very efficient, this mate of hers, and she was not going to complain about it. “I’d love a shower, and I think I could eat right now.” A step down process? She would need to hear more about that. But first, an actual shower while she had the energy to take one? Nothing sounded better.
Dizziness swept over her on the way down the stairs toward the kitchen, but she ignored the feeling. She was upright and didn’t want to be otherwise at the moment. The house was completely empty, save for the bed she’d been in upstairs and two towels in the bathroom. She’d used one and saved one for August.
He stood at the window in the kitchen looking out. Somewhere, children were shrieking with happy laughter. Otherwise, she smelled nothing out of the ordinary. What was he looking at? He’d gone to the window upstairs, too.
Her mate turned at her arrival, his face impassive. Handsome didn’t begin to describe him. His gaze swept over her, and she swallowed through the dryness in her throat.
He didn’t speak, so she had to. “It has been such a long time since I looked in a mirror. I pretty much don’t recognize myself.”
His response was nothing more than a grunt before he indicated some food on the table. “You should eat while you’re still hungry.”
Well, at least she knew how he felt about her physical state—not enough to warrant a comment. She slipped into the chair and started eating the eggs. They were good. Tasty. Fresh. He must have just cooked them. How had she missed the scent? Her senses weren’t online. Would they ever come back, or was this a permanent problem?
All her own fault, anyway.
“Are you eating?”
He sat across from her. “After you do.”
That struck her as funny. She wasn’t sure she understood. “Why after?”
“I want to make sure there’s enough for you first. You eat your fill, and then I’ll fix myself what’s left.”
“A little bit when everyone else was done. My system is pretty efficient, after years of going without. I’m rarely hungry.”
That didn’t mean he shouldn’t be eating. She rose to her feet. They were unsteady, but as long as they kept her upright that would do. The eggs had to be in the icebox.
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t turn around. “Making you some eggs.”
“I just told you that…”
Clarissa interrupted him. “Yes, I heard you. But that’s ridiculous. You need to eat, too, and if this is some male thing where you won’t feed yourself because I haven’t eaten, then I’ll have to feed you instead. I’ll do it if you won’t.”
He rose, the chair going backward with a screech. “Sit down. If it’s important to you, I’ll fix myself some eggs.”
She nodded, heading back to the chair. He scooted around in the kitchen, and she watched his quick movements. For a person as physically imposing as August, he had a grace about him. He never adjusted or tweaked anything because he got it right the first time. The eggs cooked quickly, and as he flipped them around in the pan, he never had to do anything twice. Perfectionism didn’t come naturally to her. She was always lacking in some way. Did August do everything that way or just eggs?
“Eat. They’re going to get cold,” he spoke to her without turning around. The hard muscles of his back were visible through his shirt as he cooked. She sighed inside. Did he carry the weight of the world on those shoulders?
“I’ll eat when you do. We can eat together. It’s called sharing a meal.”
He snorted, his back jiggling slightly with the sound. Had she amused him? Yes, his scent was more upbeat. “Stubborn.”
“I guess I used to be. Maybe I can be again.” Someday.
August sat down across from her, and with a glance in her direction, started eating his eggs. She dropped her gaze and did the same. They were slightly cooler, but she preferred them that way anyway. Too hot always burned her tongue.