Planet Bear Page 3

  I jolted at his words. “What?”

  “Or so the legends go. My limited understanding of the non-shifting species is you think the same of us. What is it? We evolved here differently because of the moon?” He pointed at the salmon-like fish. “You’ll tell me how you like it or if you don’t?”

  I took a bite. It was a warm, subtle experience, more like meat than fish. Yes, it was very close to our Earth salmon, yet it also had more of an aftertaste to it. I took another bite and then nodded. Belonging to them apparently meant being fed well. “Thank you.”

  “You like it?” He pressed.

  I nodded. “I do. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He grinned. “I very rarely cook it. I can’t hear what you call it, by the way. I just hear what we call it when you speak. The chip.” He pointed to his ear. “We have gotten into a habit of eating in our bear form. Grabbing the fish and eating it right there. Bad manners, my mother would have said. We eat in our human skin, my mother used to say. But the three of us have been without female companionship since our mother passed, and I’m afraid we have forgotten how to be. Like, for example, how Rylan needs to sit his ass down.”

  Cole’s speech made Rylan drop down into chair next to me. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t mind him. He’s young.” Cole grinned at me. “He’s still learning.”

  “I’m almost one hundred years old, asshole.”

  Cole ignored him. “Ninety-eight. Those last two years make all the difference. It’s why he can’t shift his eyes back. The bear wants out, and he’s battling to keep it in.”

  Rylan gripped the edge of the table. “I have it well in hand.”

  “If you say so.”

  My appetite fled, and I set down my fork. I’d never been able to eat through fear, unless it was chocolate. I could eat chocolate in any circumstance. Not that I’d had any since the Union banned it. No booze. No chocolate. No garlic. Nothing fried. All the things I liked in life.

  Cole’s face fell. “You’re afraid.”

  “She stopped being that way for maybe two seconds, and then you scared her again.”

  I hated being talked about like I wasn’t in the room. “When you’re a bear, will you tear me to pieces? Will it hurt?” Why did I add that? Stupidest question ever. Of course it would hurt. “Are you fattening me up so that I taste better?”

  No one spoke for a second. Oh wow, I’d really stepped in it. Why couldn’t I keep quiet until I had a chance to escape? Because I was dumb, dumb, dumb. That was why.

  “Not one of us would ever hurt you in either form. You belong to us.” If it was possible, Rylan’s voice lowered further.

  I pushed back from the table. “What does that mean? What will you expect me to do?” I must not have gotten over my hysterics from earlier because it reared back at me like it had just been waiting to smack me into this zone once again. “Clean? Cook? Things in the bedroom? You have to explain it.”

  “It’s different with humans.” Finn leaned against the door to the kitchen. “She can’t smell us. They use the word differently, I think. It’s been a long time since I gave a human a thought other than to have them executed for being here when they shouldn’t.”

  I backed up two more steps. They’d catch me if I ran. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try. Why couldn’t I have found a different house where the bears didn’t want to keep me?

  Rylan rose slowly. “She is so afraid. It burns my senses.”

  “Tell the bear to go away. The scent eases a little bit in human form.” Finn walked toward me slowly. “I don’t want you afraid, little human, so I will tell you all the things that might frighten you all at once. Then we will soothe you.”

  Soothe me? He had to be kidding. “I don’t think there’s anything you can say that is going to make any of this better.”

  “Maybe not.” Finn stalked forward. “But let’s get it all on the table. They aren’t hunting for you anywhere because I made a general announcement that you’d been found. It will be a little while until one group starts to wonder why they don’t have you and why another group does. By then, we’ll have to figure out how we’re going to handle this. We can’t go into hiding. You’re our mate. You belong to us.”

  There were those words again. “What does that mean? I’m sure there must be a better candidate for a mate.”

  Finn looked at Cole and then back at me. “The second I scented you, your aroma hitting me upstairs when you were down here, my bear knew you were ours. I knew my brothers would feel it too. That’s how it works. We will suit. So, no, there aren’t better candidates. Trust me. Mothers have been throwing their daughters in the path of our clan since Rylan hit adulthood, hoping her scent would awaken the mating. You did.”

  If this wasn’t happening to me, I might find it interesting. “I don’t want it.”

  Rylan made a noise, and Finn winced. I turned to see what was happening. Cole rose, a groan sounding from him. A second later, with no warning, Rylan’s body started to change.

  “He can’t always control it yet. The ability to stave off the bear when the bear wants out comes in the second hundred years. Mine was actually on my birthday. About one hundred years ago.”

  Two hundred years. Finn was two hundred years old? Or more? I retreated another step. Rylan’s body reshaped, fur pushing out where there hadn’t been, and with a snap, suddenly the largest grizzly bear I’d ever seen was in the room with us. Not that I had ever seen one outside of a zoo or in pictures. In any case, I knew that was a grizzly bear.

  The high ceilings in this place made sense. They had to fit in it when they were a bear.

  He dropped to four feet, walking toward me, and I officially slammed into the wall in my haste, pressing myself against it. My heart beat so loudly I could hear it in my ears. This was it. He was a bear now, and he was simply going to rush at me, swat me down, and eat me while I was still alive. That was what bears did. My uncle must have told me that. Or maybe not. It didn’t matter. At some point in my life, I had picked up that information.

  Only, he stopped moving when he was right next to Finn. Cole walked up on his other side. “She can’t smell you, Rylan. She doesn’t know that you mean her no harm. There’s nothing you could do to him that would cause him to hurt you. You’re the only person in the universe that is true for. He’s deadly.” He stared at me for a second, consternation drawing his brows together. “That was supposed to make you feel better.”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  Rylan loped forward, stopping right in front of me. My body started to shake. I was way too close to a predator. If there was one thing I knew from simply surviving all these years, it was that some things out there killed you because that was what they did. Rylan the bear lowered his head, and I fully expected him to bite down. There was nothing I could do. This whole thing had been a game. And. . .he nuzzled against my shoulder.

  I swallowed. Okay. That hadn’t been what I was expecting. He raised his head and then did it again. It was nice, but I didn’t trust it. Not yet. What did he want? “Can he understand me like this?”

  “Sort of. Senses of what you’re saying,” Cole answered. “When Finn told him that you couldn’t scent him, he sort of got that. He knows that we’re talking now. Probably about him. Or at least, I would know that.”

  I sighed. “Please back up. I don’t like this.” I was lying. I did sort of like the heat of him, the way his nose felt when he nuzzled against me. I liked that he was being gentle. But I didn’t want him this close. Not when I had to find my feet, figure things out. I couldn’t have a bear pressed up against me like this was normal. It wasn’t. They had to understand I wasn’t their mate.

  I took a deep breath. He hadn’t moved. Finn said I was safe. I was going to try to believe him. “Back up, please.” I swatted him right on the nose.

  Rylan made a grumbling noise and backed up before heading toward the back of the house. Cole ran ahead and opened the door, which the bear used to exit.
I let out a breath I’d held.

  Finn’s eyebrows were raised. “Good job. He understood that. So would I. Nothing says go away more than your mate swatting you on the nose.”

  “I can’t be your mate. Work with me here. Shouldn’t this role be given to say a female bear shifter who could give you cubs? Isn’t that how it should work in nature? You guys don’t like strangers on your planet. You shouldn’t be mating one.”

  Finn nodded. “Something is different, that is for sure. I’ve never been around a human before. All communication has been done over screens. You’re supposed to smell awful. You don’t. I think our parts are probably made to work just fine.” He winked at me. “And if we can’t have cubs—although I would probably say babies, maybe we’re lost in translation—then that’s just fine too. I don’t care. You’re ours.”

  I walked toward him. “You can’t possibly meet a stranger and just suddenly think you’re going to keep her and make her yours forever. I might be the worst person in the universe for all you know. I have terrible luck, for one thing. Life tends to send me explosions. You don’t want to be anywhere near me.”

  “Whatever it is”—Cole walked toward Finn. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder—“you’re ours. Even if we have to prove it to you.”

  I put my shaking hands in my pockets. I needed a shower. I had to think. I had to breathe. I couldn’t do either of those things with them standing so close. Even Rylan, who was outside, was too close. I bent over, putting my hands on my knees. “Please.”

  That was all I could manage to say. Finn walked over, placing his hand on my back. The bear was back in his eyes. Cole squatted down in front of me. Like his brother, he wasn’t using his human eyes. “Please what, mate?”

  “I have to go.” Why didn’t they understand? “I don’t belong here. You’ll find a different mate.”

  They would. Cole touched the side of my face. “Jessica, you’re safe. For now, hold on to that. Let’s figure things out in the morning. Or the next morning. Or the one after that. Start with safe. Tomorrow tends to take care of itself.”

  He was wrong. The only tomorrows that took care of themselves were the ones I made sure were set up in advance. Otherwise, life was a giant mess all the time. It was clear they weren’t to be reasoned with on this matter. I’d simply have to bide my time.

  “Okay.”

  3

  When I was fourteen years old, the authorities in the Mars colony put my brother Calvin and me in an orphanage. It had been more like a labor camp. Use the parentless to do labor no one else would do. I pushed away the memory. They’d arrested my uncle on some trumped up charge of pirating—the new mayor of the place didn’t like his cut of the spoils—and kept us there until things were sorted out. After he’d been freed, my uncle picked us up and we’d gone on like nothing had happened at all.

  Only, there were things that happened there, things that took place when adults weren’t paying close enough attention, that had really shaped Calvin and me. My brother decided he needed to be the toughest guy in the room at all times, and I wanted nothing more than somewhere quiet where I could be left alone. After Cal went to jail and I had to take the piloting job with the Union to buy him out of his situation, I’d sworn I was almost to the place I wanted to be.

  Little did I know I had to make this bear detour first.

  One thing I’d learned in the orphanage was how to convince people I was asleep when I wasn’t. I lay still in the bed and waited. The bears could hear better than me. I didn’t even want to imagine how much more they could make out with their ears than mine, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be sneaky if I was careful.

  I’d gotten into the house when Finn had been in the shower. After I’d eaten Cole’s delicious salmon, I’d taken a shower and gotten in the way too big bed that seemed to have been given to me. Or maybe I’d just assumed it was mine. In any case, I was using it for now. I kept the door to the room cracked, and every time I heard either Cole or Finn speak, I listened carefully. Rylan, it seemed, was still out in the North woods. Cole headed out to go search for him and bring him back. Finn needed to speak to the elders, whoever they were, about humans and why they’d been told we smelled badly.

  I waited until I heard him leave. He crossed the downstairs, and not quietly, before he closed a door to communicate with whomever he needed to speak. My hair was still wet, but it was warm outside. I wouldn’t freeze. I carefully made my way down the stairs. If Rylan and Cole were north, I’d head south.

  It would be that easy. I stood at the threshold of the door that would lead me from the house, and I didn’t move. What was the matter with me? I should just go. I put my hand on the wood. Truth was, I was tired. Bone weary. I was too young to be so tired. I just felt stretched thin.

  I stepped back. Not tonight. I’d go to sleep and find another time to run when I had more energy.

  “I’m glad you changed your mind.” Rylan, in his human form, stood on the other side of the room. Cole came through the other door behind him. “It’s not safe out there at night. I mean, I know you made it on your own, but I don’t know how long you could have done that. There are bears—clanless bears that live in the woods. They wouldn’t hesitate to harm you. I wouldn’t let them. We’d kill anyone who came near you.”

  I cleared my throat. “In this scenario, I’ve run away.”

  “Couldn’t happen. You’re deep in our blood now. You evaded capture, a feat well done, and I suspect it’s because we have all just come out of a torpor period. It makes us all a little bit off. That’s why you didn’t get shot down. That’s why you lasted in the woods. But we’re getting back to our normal rhythms. And we’d never lose your scent now. I’d rather not chase you tonight. I’d rather you just went to bed.” He put out his hand. “Come on. I’ll walk you back up.”

  Cole stepped past him. “You’re really beautiful. This whole thing has been so bizarre I don’t think we told you. You’re beautiful. All that blond hair and those blue eyes. I wouldn’t care what you looked like, but I love how you look. If that makes sense.”

  My cheeks heated. “I’m. . .I’m not beautiful.”

  Literally no one in my life had ever said that to me. My nose was too big. My eyes were slightly too far apart. It had never mattered. I’d never had boyfriends. How and when would I? And my one sexual experience had taught me I really didn’t care for the intimacy anyway. What was the big deal?

  I walked around Cole, who took my hand to stop me. “Sure, you are.”

  “What difference does it make?” I snapped at him. I did that a lot. Maybe they’d get rid of me for it. I was too volatile to be their mate.

  He shook his head. “None.”

  Okay, he’d answered like I’d asked a reasonable question. What was I supposed to do with that? Rylan nudged me when he walked by. “Come on. Back to bed. It’s been a long day. You’re safe here.” They kept reiterating that to me like it was going to make some kind of difference. “You can sleep. Nothing will happen to you.”

  I pointed out the window. “You just told me there are dangerous, non-clanned—whatever that means—bears in the wood. I think that negates the safety.”

  Still, I let him lead me upstairs like I couldn’t find my own way.

  Rylan answered my accusation. “They wouldn’t dare come in here. If I didn’t kill them, or Cole didn’t kill them, Finn would make them wish they’d never been born. We can leave our doors unlocked because most of the time, except when beautiful blondes named Jessica stumble their way into our lives, no one would dare come in here uninvited.”

  Cole walked the other way down the long hall. “And we almost never invite anyone. We’re bears. We like our own company.”

  “Well, you wouldn’t know that considering you now seem to think I belong to you.”

  Cole’s smile was huge. “You now constitute part of being us. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the idea. My bear is sure of it.”

  I went back into my bedroom. This time, bec
ause I was at least spending the night, I took off my shoes. I grabbed a bar of the gold from my backpack and put it under my pillow. If any of them came at me, I could at least get a good whack in with the gold. It would hurt, even if I lost.

  The bed was warm, and I’d rolled around in it, looking for a comfortable spot, when a knock sounded on the door. “Come in.”

  Cole poked his head in. “Sorry, you need the pain medicine.” He held out a shot in his hand. “We don’t have a lot of this. If a bear can’t shift we give them this until they can. It lets them relax. I think this should be a low enough dose for you. I don’t think there’s any reason you shouldn’t have it.”

  Bear pain killers? “I don’t know.”

  “When we look like humans, our physiology is very close. I’d never give you anything unsafe. Hold out your arm.”

  I’d always hated injections, but I did as he asked. I really did need relief from my constant headache. It pinched but worked fast. My head was first a dull ache, and then I couldn’t feel any pain at all. My neck felt weak. I leaned back on the pillow. “Thanks.”

  He gave me a small smile. “That is my pleasure. We’ll all take care of you. Always.”

  I closed my eyes. I didn’t have any fight left. I’d just float for a while. That sounded perfect.

  I dreamed. Usually, I didn’t recognize dreams as dreams when I was having them, but this one was clear. Was it something to do with the painkiller? I didn’t know. I ran through the woods. Dangerous bears were everywhere. They chased me, swatting me with their claws. I ran straight into my uncle. He held me still.

  “You’re such a fuck up, girl. You’re supposed to take care of Calvin. He’s going to die in that jail because of you.”

  I cried out. “I’m going to get to him.”

  “You’re not. You’re never getting away from the bears. They’re going to slaughter you right now.”

  I screamed, sitting up straight, the yell still in my throat. I was drenched in sweat. This had to be the painkiller. I never made a noise in my sleep. I’d learned in the orphanage the importance of silence. The door swung open, and Rylan was there.