Endless Read online

  This was, of course, not the case for the males. Not fair by any standards, but the way things had been before the war and for a few years into it. Toward the end, no one had the energy to care about such things.

  She’d never had sex with any of the willing males. From the time she was eight, she’d known she had a mate. She’d waited. Until she heard he was dead. Then she’d had mindless encounters meant to numb her.

  That was all she wanted. Over and over. And probably why she ended up in these circumstances to begin with.

  She was weak. Why on earth had he brought this up?

  Clarissa called the shift onto herself and, through the creaking joints and pain, came back to her human form. “Why did you ask?”

  He opened his lids. “Just wondering.”

  “You were just wondering?” Seemed a pretty random thing to be just wondering. “Did you do that because you knew I’d have to shift to ask you?”

  He shrugged, the barest of movements. “Did I?”

  Oh, he was infuriating and… as she stared at his profile… sexy as hell. Too bad she had no sex drive to speak of. Hadn’t for years.

  He side-eyed her. “What is your favorite food?”

  “Are you just wondering?”

  He was right. She was grumpy. This was the stage right before she needed it again. The drugs. It was always about them. Even when she tried to think about other things or do anything else, it always came down to when and how she would use.

  His smile twisted sideways. “I am sick in the head because I love your bite. Keep snapping at me, Angel Face. Keep doing that. Don’t stop.”

  Now he had to be making fun of her. Her nose couldn’t tell. How did he disguise his scent like that? Auggie shot his hand out, grabbing onto her wrist. It didn’t hurt, but it did still the random chatter that was always plaguing her head. “Answer my question.”

  “Cooked or uncooked?” The question really came down to whether he meant in her human form or her wolf.

  “Uncooked today. Cooked tomorrow.”

  Her head hurt. “So this is to be a nightly conversation?”

  “Maybe.” He sucked in a breath. “The bite tells me you’re still in there. Defeated people don’t yell. So bite my fucking head off.”

  Wow. This man was so confusing. “In every conversation I ever had about you with pack mates, nobody ever said you were so pushy.”

  “That would be because few really know me. Not even those who claim to. I’d say there are maybe five people in the world to really get me at all. You’ll be six, and you’ll know me better than even they do. I think that’s how it works. Tell me what you like to eat uncooked.”

  She got up on her knees. “I didn’t used to be like this. I know you were off fighting the dragons and that something happened because they told us you were dead. But I really wish you could have known me when I wasn’t… this.”

  Auggie’s face fell for just a second, and then he seemed to recover. “What. Do. You. Want. To. Eat.”

  “When I used to be able to hunt, I liked wild turkey. I haven’t seen one in years.” There. Was he happy now?

  He got to his feet. “Stay here. I mean right here. If you have to pee, you can do that and come back. When I get back, you will be in this spot.”

  “What?”

  Just like that, he shifted and ran off. Where had he gone? Clarissa pulled her knees to herself. He’d told her not to move, and it had felt like the kind of order she should obey. An Alpha order. She put her head on top of her knees. Okay, she’d stay right there. Why had she yelled at him? Clarissa closed her eyes.

  A shake on her shoulder woke her, and a second later, Auggie’s face floated into her vision. “Time to eat.”

  Eat? He wanted her to think about food. Her stomach roiled at the thought. “Sorry, I have no appetite. This is the part of the addiction where I stop caring about anything except getting my next dose.”

  He shook his head. “Your wolf will want food. Shift. Everybody, shift.”

  The scent of the turkeys hit her before anything else did. She got to her knees, staring. “Where did you get five live turkeys?”

  He grunted rather than respond. “Shift. Get yourself some dinner.”

  When was the last time she’d hunted anything? Technically, this wasn’t going to count as hunting. The turkeys were wandering in a circle, not ten feet away from her. They weren’t going to be hard to get.

  “I don’t know if I can shift.”

  He shook his head. “I know you can. You were struggling earlier, and you got through that. Your wolf is tough. You are, too. If you can’t see that right now, hold on to the idea that the wolf part of you is. Shift.” He turned to the others. “No one touches that turkey all the way on the left. That’s my mate’s turkey. When she is done with it you can have it. Anyone makes any moves toward the turkey before that, they deal with me.”

  She rose on unsteady feet. He told her she could do it, and so she did. Or maybe it didn’t matter. What she needed was that turkey. Her wolf wanted it.

  The world turned red. She was going to eat that turkey. Right. Now.

  She came back to herself slowly on the ground. Her head was in Auggie’s lap; he stroked her hair. The sun had fallen. There was turkey carcass everywhere. Her stomach was so full, she groaned. “What happened?”

  “Nothing bad,” he said. His voice was low, easy. “You were hungry. You ate. You shifted back. Nothing bad at all.”

  “Why can’t I remember?”

  Auggie continued his long strokes of her hair. Her muscles were loose. “You checked out for a bit. That’s okay. Our wolves need to be allowed to just be sometimes. Close your eyes. We have half a day to get to my brother’s pack tomorrow. You’ll need to be rested. Nothing bad will happen to you tonight.”

  She nodded. “I’m sorry this mating is starting out so badly.”

  “It’s not.” He didn’t smell like he lied. Maybe he really believed this was going to be okay. “I’ve seen things, Angel Face. I’ve seen… stuff you wouldn’t believe. This is just normal for the way things are. You’re going to be better. Close your eyes. Sleep.”

  Clarissa wanted to spend the night listening to his voice. “Why aren’t you dead? You’re supposed to be dead.”

  “If I’d known I had a mate waiting for me, I wouldn’t have been dead. I’ll explain that to you another time. Sleep.” His wolf pressed against her again, and she closed her eyes. Maybe someday when she was stronger, she’d be able to resist. Not yet. Right now, she had to do what he told her to do. It was a good thing that, so far, he’d seemed to be so completely on her side.

  Sadness woke her. It had always had a scent, and right now the air was filled with the acrid, overpowering scent of sadness. It came straight at her, directly from Auggie. She stumbled, too slowly, upward.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He stood over two bodies. It took her a half a second too long to realize what she’d even thought. Bodies. Two of her packmates were dead. Both females, Linda and Pam, were younger than she was. She walked slowly toward Auggie.

  “They’re dead.”

  He nodded. “They died overnight. I heard it happen, and I tried… there was nothing to do.”

  This was the reality of what they had done to themselves. “We’re all going to die. I… I appreciate that you’re trying, but I’m sure it’s too late and…” She ignored the rumbles around her from the rest of her packmates. August Owens had to understand.

  He grabbed her and pulled her to him. A second later, his fangs elongated and he bit down on her neck. She gasped, the world tilting on its side. That was a mating mark.

  Auggie didn’t let go. He continued to bite down. Usually this kind of thing was saved for moments of intimacy, when a couple was alone.

  Her body shook, and a warmth pooled in her stomach. What was happening? “Auggie?” Why was he doing this now?

  He let go, his tongue coming out to lap at the wound. “Listen to me very carefully. This ti
es us together. That is my mark on you. That reminds you that you are mine, that you belong to me. Period. You are not to die. Whatever happens, no matter how hard this gets, I am connected to you. If you die, I will follow you there. Even if we don’t know each other better than we do now. You. Are. My. Mate. You will not die.”

  She shook in his arms. Those were huge statements. It was true that mates followed each other into decline and death. But that usually happened after the mating dance was completed, when a couple had truly bonded. The bite took place then, too.

  He had tied himself to her, and he didn’t even know her yet.

  “Why did you do that?”

  He took her cheeks into his hands. “Listen to me, Angel Face.” Why did he keep calling her that? Why didn’t Auggie make any sense? “You. Are. Mine. I keep what is mine alive. I always have. You will not leave here without me.”

  She swallowed. “When they told me you were quiet, I assumed that meant easygoing.”

  “Well”—he shook his head—“you were wrong.”

  3

  Auggie knew when he was on the brink of losing it. Usually, he could pull himself back. This time, however, he’d not managed to catch himself in time. Biting his mate—claiming, marking her—first thing in the morning in front of her pack and two dead bodies had not been the smartest thing he’d ever done.

  Not that he thought the dead bodies particularly cared.

  When he’d smelled them leaving, he’d jumped up. Basic medical training was something every soldier knew in the secret elite unit Robbie had run. Nothing Auggie had done, however, had brought them back. They were gone. What concerned him even beyond the death of two wolves he hadn’t known, but felt responsible for, was the fact they had smelled less sick than his mate.

  She seemed worse off, and they’d died… what was going to happen to her?

  His reaction had been instinctual, and he was usually better at controlling himself. But he had to tie her to him. Her wolf had to fully understand how committed he was to this—so that she couldn’t go anywhere without him holding onto her and saying not yet. He’d heard it could work that way, and so help him, if such a thing was possible, he was going to see to it that it happened.

  He’d yet to kiss her; their circumstances hadn’t exactly been conducive, and she was only half conscious most of the time. Biting her had woken up the need, and now he was hard as a rock with nothing to do about that for the foreseeable future.

  Auggie reached out to stroke his hand down the side of her face. “I’m… I’m not going to hurt you.” All evidence to the contrary, since he’d bitten down on her human skin with no preparation, no tenderness. He’d marked her, hard.

  She nodded. He didn’t scent fear. Confusion, yes. The slightest waft of arousal, which had a bit of a citrus scent on Clarissa. All of it tainted by the drugs and the sickness.

  “We’re moving.” He dropped his hand, addressing the group. “Get ready. We go now.”

  There was no time to wait. He’d push them and push them until he could get them some help.

  August heard the dragons before he saw them. The years living constantly on the go, chasing the big ones to their lairs, finding where they slept—killing them before the dragons could harm any more wolves—had made him attuned to their sounds. He stopped walking. In his wolf form, he’d know for sure, but he wasn’t going to leave his mate’s pack to try to handle the dragon—where there was one, there were likely two.

  No one had seen a healthy dragon in the skies in months. This one sounded like it had a pretty good wingspan and was flapping in a strong way. Had this happened because he’d stumbled upon their egg lair? Were they looking specifically for him?

  Or was paranoia all part of the strange way his mating was going. He was clearly not acting entirely like himself.

  They needed to shift and run. The problem was that he wasn’t entirely certain all these people could. Had those two folks died this morning because he’d pushed so hard?

  Being soft and gentle didn’t come naturally to him.

  It never had.

  “Hey, everyone, listen. I hear a dragon.”

  The other wolves went quiet, and Auggie sought out Clarissa. She'd paled quite a bit at his statement. He didn't blame her. Dragons were scary, even when you were used to dealing with them.

  “I'm a war survivor, too.” One of the men walked toward him. “My name is Cal. I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself. I don't hear a dragon.”

  August nodded. “We all have our expertise. Mine tells me I'm hearing a dragon. We aren't going to shift. Frankly, I'm not sure that would be a great idea for any of you right now. We're going to hide. Or at least, you are going to hide.”

  Hiding wasn't really in his nature.

  He pointed toward a group of trees. Most places had been torched. Dragons knew that wolves liked the woods, and so most of the trees were gone. But here, they weren't. Why was that? It had to be related to the hidden egg farms. He'd talk to Robbie about this if he got these people to his brother's pack in one piece.

  Robbie would decide what to do.

  That was what his brother's job as Alpha entailed. Auggie took Clarissa by the hand. “Follow me. All of you scrunch down. Stay that way. I'm going to… handle the dragon.”

  Cal's mouth fell open. “Alone?”

  “Yes.” He did most things alone, even if he was in a pack or with his brothers. Nothing was really communal when it came down to it. “Come on, everyone.”

  The growl in his voice must have made them move. Inside of him, his wolf stood at attention. Yes, there was a battle coming. His canine liked the fight almost as much as Auggie did. They'd both been born bloodthirsty.

  Clarissa gripped onto his arm. “August, can you be careful? Can you maybe not do this? Hide with us?”

  He shook his head. “I'm not built like that.” She had an adorable nose. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Auggie slid his finger down the slope of her nose, and she smiled. The grin halted him in his tracks. Despite the fact she was disturbingly sick right then, he'd managed to make her smile. “Don't go anywhere.” He hoped she understood he meant that in two different ways. One: in location. And two: in death.

  She nodded. “Where would I go?”

  “I don't know. Unless a dragon comes sweeping toward you, stay where I put you. I will notice if you move. I don't want to be distracted. I'll come back for you before I do anything else. I'll stop fighting to get to you.”

  As he spoke the words, he realized they were true. She was his. Even in battle, she would always be first and foremost in his mind.

  “Be careful. I…” Clarissa sighed. “I used to be different. I had a sharp mind, lots to say. I'm sorry I can't seem to string thoughts together in any kind of reasonable way other than when I'm snapping at you.”

  He cupped her cheek. “All you have to do for now is survive. We'll figure it out. I have a dragon, maybe two, to get rid of.”

  He stepped away from her and toward Cal. “Hey, soldier, come over here by this tree and watch my back. If you see another dragon while I'm managing the first, you let me know.”

  Cal nodded. “We mostly ran from the dragons. My command really had no idea how to battle them.”

  And that right there summed up nicely why the war had gone the way it had. If Auggie's sister-in-law, Caitlyn, hadn't stepped in and figured out how to burn the dragon eggs, they'd still be fighting or they’d be dead by now. As it was, two decades of war had decimated the very makeup of their society. Packs were gone. New ones were trying to form, even though most were failing. His mate and this group were hardly the only ones suffering like this.

  The damned dragons had started the battle, and he was proud to say he was there the day Robbie took off the Queen Dragon's head and ended the fighting.

  The remaining dragon population was dying off… or so everyone else thought. August had known in his gut that this wasn’t over.

  The beast came over the horizon. A tremendous, purple drag
on. The multi-colored design on its wings were intricate enough to indicate she was one of the smart ones. Dragons had a matriarchal society. The women were stronger and tougher than their males, who were either pure green or green with some purple on them if they were really strong.

  Almost from birth, the dragon’s designations were clear. A dragon hatched all black then shed those scales, and their true colors were revealed in weeks. Auggie had seen it. Spying on them had been part of his job, which was why it was so utterly pathetic that he’d gotten caught the way he had been earlier in the week.

  His head wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Not then, and not now. The dragon looped down. She had eyes only for Auggie, and it reinforced his maybe-not paranoid view that she’d been out looking for him.

  He leapt into the air, shifting as he did. Behind him, he heard gasps. Yes, not every wolf could manage that feat, but all the men in his family could.

  Every wolf they’d had in their elite unit had been able to as well. Maybe they’d just been made to be dragon killers. Right now, it didn’t matter.

  He tore at the dragon, but she wasn’t a green male pawn. She fought back. The bitch had claws. If she could, she’d burn the fuck out of him. He’d already been singed this week, and he wasn’t looking for a repeat. He bit down hard. He’d have the taste in his mouth for a day at least. Dragons tasted bitter.

  Auggie was overthinking this. He let go. The wolf had to kill this dragon, and he had to be his wolf. With the world going red and then finally colorless, August Owens took down the dragon. One bite at a time.

  He blinked, walking toward the crowd who watched him from the semicircle they’d formed. He sniffed the air. The dragon was dead although he didn’t remember doing it. There had just been the one. He’d dwell on that later. His wolf had handled things as he’d known it would. He trusted his wolf. They’d been constant companions.

  Mate.

  Clarissa dropped to her knees in front of him, grabbing onto his face. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”