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  When was the last time his life had any tenderness? Immediately, he backed off the intensity of their kiss. He didn’t want to hurt her or punish her for the life he’d lived. Devin just wanted to make her first sexual encounter a good one for both of them.

  It had been so long, he might as well be a virgin, too.

  “Do you ever just let yourself go and feel?” She spoke the words against his mouth, her warm, sweet breath caressing him. He cut a glance to her eyes, which had turned Wolf, as they should during heated encounters, as his would have done if he’d not been so completely fucked up.

  “No.” Devin hoisted her up until he held her completely in his arms. “I’m stronger than you are. You should be nervous.”

  “Maybe.” She touched his cheeks, her hands caressing his two scars. “But I’m not.”

  Devin lowered her onto the bed until he loomed over her. He massaged her nipples and she moaned, her eyes closing.

  “Is it better than you imagined it? Having the real thing?”

  3

  “Oh, yes.” Lena moaned. “It’s so much better to be here with you than to just imagine it.”

  “Good.” Devin’s husky voice made her insides melt. He kissed her neck. She shivered at the feel of his hot mouth on her skin.

  Yes, so much better. She hadn’t been able to imagine how the calluses on his hands would make her skin feel alive when he touched her. In her wildest dreams, she hadn’t known what it would feel like to have his hard length digging into her stomach, making her tremble with anticipation. Even broken as he was, Devin’s tremendous strength made her feel safe and protected in his arms.

  He trailed his hand down her stomach to her pussy. She could feel how wet she was and suspected she dripped. When he’d watched her play with herself, she’d nearly exploded. She’d brought herself to pleasure many times before, but having his gaze on her had brought a different level of heat.

  “Your body.” He tongued her bellybutton as he moved down her abs toward her weeping core. “You are hot, Lena.”

  She wanted to spend time touching him. Devin’s physique sans clothes was better than with them—and even then he looked pretty damn good.

  “You’re smoldering, too, Devin.”

  He laughed, cold and hard. She pushed back to look at him but then he was touching her pussy. She gasped as all reason fled her brain. It took him only seconds to find her clit. For a guy who had asked her to show him what she liked, he hadn’t needed much of an instruction manual.

  He squeezed her sweet spot between two of his fingers. She moaned and he moved his hand to spread her open.

  “That’s right, pretty Wolf, open up for me. Come for me, Lena. I want to feel your wetness all over my hands.”

  As if controlled by his command, Lena came at once. One second, she drowned in a pool of pressure almost akin to pain, and the next she saw colors pass by her eyes as bliss swept over her body. She called out his name as her back arched off the bed.

  Panting, she opened her eyes. Devin stared down at her, his expression unreadable. “You okay?”

  His question made her cheeks heat up. “I never knew it could be so…wow.”

  He sniffed her, a smile crossing his face. “You haven’t seen anything yet,

  Lena.”

  “Oh no?”

  Devin shook his head. “It’s been a long time for me. And you’re a virgin. I’m going to try my best to be gentle with you.”

  “I’m a Wolf. I don’t need gentle.”

  “You might not need it.” His long brown hair fell forward, covering his eyes.

  He shook it away. “But you should have it.”

  His impressive cock pointed out toward her. It was thick, long, and heavily veined. Her mouth watered. Yes, she wanted it in her pussy, but she wished she could also taste him. Would he let her?

  She sat up slightly to make an attempt. He held her shoulder still. “If you do that, I’ll never make it inside of you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know most don’t need recovery time. They can go and go. I’m afraid you’ve got yourself a wounded Wolf here. I’m not at full capacity. I think we’re going to get one shot at this and then have to take a long break before we can go again.”

  The blank expression Lena had already learned to dislike crossed his face. She didn’t know him as well as she would like, but he held himself back, went somewhere she couldn’t follow him. No way, no how did Lena want him going there.

  “Doesn’t matter to me.” She stroked his face. “I just wanted your hard cock in my mouth.”

  He grinned and the smile took five years off his face. “All right. Next time. I won’t object. Maybe I’ll get some stamina back.”

  Next time? Lena didn’t react to his announcement they’d be sharing bodily fluids again. Devin seemed skittish, and she didn’t want to scare him off.

  He entered her slowly, putting his hot, erect member at the entrance of her core and pushing forward. She closed her eyes. This felt like heaven. Her muscles stretched to accommodate him until he filled her completely.

  “Lena, open your eyes.”

  She did as he asked, looking at him. For one second, she thought she saw Devin’s Wolf in his eyes. Then just as fast as she saw it, the image disappeared. She had yet to see his Wolf. It had been a beautiful sight, like looking at the mysteries of nature in his gaze.

  “You okay?” Sweat coated his brow.

  “I’m fantastic. You?”

  He smiled, a half grin touching his mouth. “I haven’t been this alive in years.”

  The sensation of having Devin inside her was wonderful, but it wasn’t until he started moving she fully began to understand all the fuss her friends made about sex.

  Each stroke drove her closer to the brink. She dug her fingers into his back. Thank the gods he’d come back. Yes, this was what she needed. Devin inside of her, moving like he was.

  “Oh gods, Lena, you are so hot, so unbelievably hot.” She thought she heard a growl in his voice.

  Her muscles met his thrust for thrust, each movement making his already huge cock harder inside of her.

  “Devin, I’m going to…”

  “I know, baby, let it go. I want to feel your pleasure all around me. Give me your juices. I crave them.”

  His dirty words left her gasping as her orgasm overtook her. Colors and lights danced before her eyes. She dug her fingers into Devin’s back, her whole body arching off the bed. Seconds later he exploded, and the heated pulse of his cum filled her.

  They lay in silence, Devin eventually rolling off her to lie by her side. Lena stared at the ceiling, her heart rate slowing gradually. He hadn’t bitten her. Devin had been right. On his end, there had been no mating. Males who found their mates couldn’t resist the urge to mark them; to bite down with their teeth and leave a spot the whole world could see.

  She swallowed, hoping he couldn’t scent her agony. Why had she hoped this would change things? Lena felt like such a fool. He’d told her the truth, and she’d done this to try to prove something had to be wrong. Now, she’d get to live the rest of her life knowing the pleasure her mate could give her even though she would never have a mate.

  One lone tear escaped, and she quickly batted it away. She might as not have, as he’d be able to smell her distress. Trying to be as sly as she could, she glanced over at Devin, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He stared up at the ceiling, his gaze distant and removed.

  She cleared her throat. “Would you like to shift and go for a run?”

  Lena couldn’t think of anything she’d like better than to escape this room. He’d brought her utter and complete pleasure, then shattered her soul.

  Devin rolled over, his back facing her, his head turned away. “You go ahead. I can’t shift anymore. Haven’t been able to since I came back.”

  He couldn’t shift? A strange buzzing sensation filled her mind. This was important. Devin’s disconnection from his Wolf mattered.

  “That�
��s why you can’t heal your leg? You can’t shift to fix it?”

  He turned to look at her, his eyes tired. “It’s pretty disgusting, I know. Trust me, no one likes looking at it less than I do. Twisted flesh, the bone poking out from where it should be—yeah, it’s gross.”

  Lena wasn’t exactly certain what was going on, but she’d somehow stepped into a minefield. She hoped she could find her way out. Fast.

  “I didn’t say it was gross. I hardly noticed it. I just asked if you not shifting was why it wasn’t fixed.” She rubbed her eyes. “What do the doctors say about why you can’t shift?”

  “Nothing. They have nothing to say.”

  Okay, Lena needed to change the subject immediately, or she had a feeling he would throw her out, and she’d never get to come back in. Only minutes ago, she’d wanted out of the room, but since his announcement about his shifting problem, something had changed inside of her. Even if he wasn’t her mate, he would always be the Wolf she’d given her virginity to.

  “Before I had to leave school, I studied nursing. They taught us all kinds of massages. I could rub it if you’d like.”

  “No.” He jerked farther away from her. “I’d really rather you never touch it.”

  She rolled closer to him. “Did you watch the news this morning?”

  “I never do. Why was there something on it I needed to see?”

  Lena touched his arm with two fingers, hoping she could soothe away some of his tension. Devin acted prickly, but she started to suspect it was to cover some very strong pain.

  “They said the Dragons are likely to sign the peace accord.”

  Devin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, they’ve said so before.”

  “You don’t believe them?”

  “No.” He spit the word out like it burned his throat to say it.

  “The news people say it’s because you guys have been doing such a good job attacking their nesting grounds. They don’t want to lose any more eggs, so they’re finally willing to settle with us.” She grinned. Everyone felt so proud of those operations. They had really turned the tide of the war. “Egg destroying was what your unit was doing, right?”

  “Before we got caught, yes.” He rolled over to look at her. His gaze seemed huge, his eyes bright in the darkness. “Lena, don’t believe them. Whatever they tell you about that—about going to the nesting grounds—it isn’t what they say it is.”

  Her heart beat faster and she bit down on her lip. “What do you mean?” “When you destroy an egg, it’s not the same as say stepping on an anthill. Easy was what they told us it would be like. Get rid of the eggs, they can’t make babies. But when you burn them, the eggs scream. We are killing their babies and the sound—I’m not sure I’ll ever forget it. It will be with me forever.”

  Tears sprang to Lena’s eyes both from the distress in Devin’s tone and from the imagery his words provoked. “People have to know about this, Devin. It isn’t the Wolf way to kill babies. We’re all being told you’re killing unfertilized eggs.”

  “Who needs to know?” He sat up abruptly. “Every male over the age of eighteen is in the war. The Wolves we’ve left behind? The females, the old, and the disabled? We should tell them? Trust me, Lena, everyone who needs to know, knows. And I’m not even saying it’s wrong.” He stood up, his bad leg wobbling a little until he righted himself. “It’s us versus them out there. If we don’t stop them, they’ll burn all of our woods until there is nowhere left for us to shift. They’ll take our homes, destroy our people. No, they have to be stopped. But don’t make the nesting missions nobler than they are. They are the last-ditch effort of a desperate people. Nothing more, nothing less. If they’re working— fantastic. I’m thrilled.”

  Lena got out of the bed. She needed to find her clothes. Devin was clearly done with her. “I guess I understand.”

  “You don’t, and I’d rather you didn’t.” He turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing. “Where are you going?”

  “Well…you got up so I assumed we were done.” What was it about Devin that always made her feel so unsure? Were they not finished?

  “I have trouble staying still when I’m conscious. You don’t have to leave.”

  His hadn’t said he wanted her to stay. “I think I’d better get going.”

  It wouldn’t be proper for her to stay. Gods, it hadn’t been proper for her to come in the first place, but she didn’t want to get caught by Devin’s parents. To do so would be awful. They might force a marriage on Devin, and he’d been quite clear about not wanting to be tied to her.

  “I’ll walk you home.”

  The stillness of the night changed in a second as the alarm sounded, signaling a Dragon approach. Lena rolled her eyes. They always sounded the alarm, and it never meant anything.

  Devin grabbed her arm, throwing her down on the ground with his body above hers.

  He spoke on his hiss. “Don’t move. They can’t smell us as well as we can scent them. You’ll be able to sniff them out even if I can’t. They also can’t see well in the dark. If you don’t move, they won’t know we’re in here.”

  Lena touched Devin’s face. “It’s okay. It’s nothing. These things sound three times a month. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed them before. Maybe the drugs helped you sleep through them? They’re never anything. The Dragons don’t make it this far inland. Our border patrols either shoot them from the sky or claw them down if they try to pass on the ground. It’s nothing.”

  Devin stayed silent for a moment. “You don’t smell Dragon?”

  “I’ve never scented one so I don’t know exactly what their aroma would be, but

  I don’t smell anything I can’t identify.”

  Finally, Devin nodded and got off her. “I’m sorry I knocked you down. My objective was to protect, not to harm you. I guess I overreacted.”

  “It’s okay, Devin. I don’t wound easily.” He had thrown his body over hers when he had thought danger approached. His instinct to protect her had to mean something.

  “Thank you for trying to shield me.”

  “Maybe you should go home. I’m not right in the head. I know about the alarms. They had them when I was younger, too before I went to war. I just forget things about before.”

  She put her hand in his, wanting desperately to shift but knowing she wouldn’t while Devin couldn’t. “Walk with me?”

  He nodded. They moved through his quiet house together. Finally, they stepped outside where Devin glanced at the sky. “The air feels still to me. I don’t feel the telltale sign of Dragon wings in the air.”

  Lena had never experienced the sensation herself. “Why do you think they didn’t kill you?”

  He stared at her, his face illuminated by the neighboring house lights. “I have no frickin’ idea.”

  They had just about reached her place when Devin stopped. In two strides, he had picked her up and pressed her against the back of a large tree next to her house.

  “I want you again.”

  Lena stopped breathing for a moment. “You do?”

  “Do you desire me, or have I frightened you off?”

  “I’ll always want you, Devin.”

  He said something she couldn’t make out and then he pushed against her, pulling down her pants as he did.

  “Here? Outside? Where anyone can see us?”

  “No one is around, and we’re hidden in the dark of this tree.”

  Lena glanced around frantically. They were hidden; he was correct. But he wanted to do it where they might get caught? She stared at him, enthralled by his sexy gaze as he stared at her. His attention seemed obvious. Devin wanted to eat her alive.

  Did she want to? Yes, she did.

  “Make it fast.” She couldn’t believe her own words as she said them. Was she really telling Devin Owen what to do?

  He grinned and pulled his already erect cock out of his pants. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  The bark of the tree dug into her back. Normally, she would complain, b
ut the slight discomfort seemed to add to the pleasure Devin’s hard member created. “Do you like it a little rough, Lena?”

  She thought she did. She might have even told him so, but she couldn’t communicate more than to moan and gasp.

  “Yes, Devin. Please.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Please, what?”

  “Please, more.”

  His low laugh sent shivers up her spine. He whispered in her ear. “More what?”

  “More of whatever it is you’re doing, damn you.”

  He crept his hand between them, pinching her clit as he continued to thrust in and out of her. Yes, that was what she’d wanted. Oh gods, yes.

  As she came her ears rang and tears fell from her eyes. Her body had needed connection more than she’d understood. If all she could have of Devin were these small moments, then she would take them and hold onto them for eternity.

  He licked the side of her face as he pulled himself out of her.. “You okay?”

  “Yes, I guess, it was just really intense.”

  He set her down gently holding her until her legs stopped wobbling. “It was for me, too. This might be hard to believe, but I don’t usually have sex up against trees.”

  “You couldn’t resist me.” She smiled and closed her eyes.

  “Clearly.” Devin pulled up her pants for her, then zipping them closed. It was a good thing he still could be competent since her whole body wanted to melt into a pool of mush and never move again.

  “You’re going to be sore tomorrow.” He kissed her chin.

  “It was worth it.”

  He pulled her up against him. “This time I’m taking you home for real.”

  “Thanks.”

  Lena had lost his ability to speak except in one-word answers. She thought she might fall asleep on her feet, and she still had to make the damn cakes for the next morning.

  “If you don’t want your family to know what we did, go straight for the shower.”

  Did he have a lot of practice hiding liaisons? She almost asked but her inability to speak prevented her. It was probably better she not know. If she’d been his mate, she could have blown the jealousy off, knowing she was his forever. If she was now just one of many women for him, she’d rather not know.