Tradition Be Damned (Last Hope Book 1) Read online

  One fit the handsome description to a fault. He was tall and broad shouldered. Muscles filled out his grey uniform. His hair had been pulled back in a bun he always kept neat. Most of the guard kept their hair practically shaved off, but not One. I couldn’t blame him. If the Divinity had gifted him with blond hair of such a golden color, it would be an insult for him to shave it off. A cleft in his chin finished the look. I hated to admit it, but the newly ranked One always made me want to swoon.

  A Sister didn’t swoon.

  “It is our pleasure to serve.” One repeated back what his predecessor had always said when I thanked them for their service. The former leader of my guards had been stiffer than this One. I’d secretly hoped for a different response. Small things mattered in my life. With only people like Jayne to speak to, I craved someone else with whom to converse.

  I pointed toward the carriage. If we were going to do the routine, then I supposed I should get going with it. Somewhere in the world, people needed my assistance. My internal whining didn’t help anything.

  “Are we ready?”

  He nodded once. “Unless you require something unusual on this trip.”

  One would know better than I did. The Sisterhood told me nothing about my missions ahead of time. “I don’t think so. Our new member is with us, I see.”

  He extended his hand, and the new Five came over. Tall, but not quite as large as One, Five was young. If I guessed One to be twenty-four, I’d put Five at much younger. Maybe twenty or my own age. He had strawberry blond hair that fell slightly over his green eyes. He met my gaze and then lowered his. I’d never know his or any of the other men’s names. This pointing him out was as much an introduction as I was going to get.

  “Well, welcome. I thank you for your service. Is your family well?”

  He blinked rapidly and looked at One, who nodded back to him. “I have no family to speak of, Sister.”

  My heart panged. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  Five nodded in response.

  I turned to find Two, Three, and Four waiting by the carriage. Two was the darkest of my guards. His skin was a light brown. He was slightly taller than One but leaner, so it was easy, at least for me, to miss that fact. He always looked to have a day’s worth of a beard on his face. His hair was thick and unruly. Sometimes he put it into dreadlocks, but right now it was short and sticking up in various places, giving the impression he didn’t care what it did. He had kind eyes. Out of the entire group, he was the most likely to smirk if I said something funny. Sometimes he hummed to himself when he was involved in a task that didn’t take much concentration.

  Three was the shortest of my guards, which still put him taller than me since I was barely five foot three. I sometimes thought of him as Silent. I’d never heard him say a thing. It was possible he couldn’t speak, although I found the concept unrealistic. Sister Katrina would never let anyone in with a deformity of any kind. Not being able to speak would fall in that category for her. He had brown curly hair he kept short and matching brown eyes. His clothes were always flawlessly pressed and his shoes shined.

  Four was also a brunette, but an entirely different shade than Three or Five. I saw streaks of red and blond in it. His eyes were blue, and his bottom lip slightly pouty. Sometimes his gaze had heat in it. I shuddered when I thought of it. He really must hate me.

  I tugged at my hood to make sure it was down and crossed in front of them to get inside the coach. When I was settled, Three came in to sit across from me. One would drive the carriage; two, four, and five took spots on the outside of the carriage and held on to watch for danger. Three was meant to keep me safe inside the transportation.

  I knew from two years of experience he wouldn’t utter a word the whole time we travelled. He wouldn’t even look at me. I stuck my head out the door to speak to One, whom I could at least count on to answer.

  “Long one?”

  He nodded once, something travelling over his gaze before it was hidden away. My stomach clenched. I hated when I could see their disdain. “Afraid so. Sister.”

  “Well, then.” I sat back. My outfit hurt to sit in. It was made for battle, not comfort. My hood stifled me. I knew all of this already. Nothing had changed. Even having a new Five didn’t mean anything would go differently.

  The carriage jerked forward. Across from me, Three gazed out the right-side window. I chose to look left.

  This was my solemn duty, and I knew I should feel blessed to do it.

  Today was one of the harder times.

  I jerked awake some time later, having dozed off from the movement of the carriage and the silence around me. Three still gazed out the window, ever fixated with the landscape he saw every time we set out to the populated areas. He must be bored with looking at the same things over and over by now. I rubbed my eyes. I had been having an odd dream. In it, someone held me on his lap. I was used to the faceless men showing up in my nightly musings, but this was different. His kiss was gentle on my cheek while he told me he loved me and always had. I would never be alone as long as he was there. I’d buried my face in his shoulder to let his scent wash over me. He loved me. I loved him. It was so right.

  I shook my head. No one had ever loved me. I’d been useful and well-treated for the talent I possessed. I had little to worry about, outside of death by demon. Sister Katrina, who ran our order, was my natural aunt, although we never acknowledged our biological relationship anymore. The last time she’d brought it up, she’d told me she saw me as her dynasty. She was Sister Superior, and so would I be. The ladies in her family who had talent, had true talent.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted the job. If I had my way, I’d retire at forty and spend my time gardening and tending the sick.

  With nothing left to do, I checked my left window. We were by the holes. The sight never ceased to make me want to cry.

  Sisters didn’t cry.

  The landscape was dead. Nothing lived or grew in the holes. The populace, afraid of the stench of demonic possession spreading among the still thriving, would throw out the sick and possessed, leaving them to die in the holes from either starvation or evil. Giant gaps of nothingness—where the lost went to die or lived on, forever in suffering.

  There was nothing we could do for those poor souls. No matter how we wished, we only had enough power to rid the world of demons who roamed, not those who took human hosts.

  My second sight turned on … I blinked. It was odd to have an episode in the middle of the carriage ride. Was there a demon in the holes? Why would it bother?

  I turned to look closer out the window and heard Three shift in his seat. He wouldn’t ask me what I was doing, and I was just as glad. My eyes glowed when I used power. I hated the feeling, and I’d rather he not know. One might question it, and Three would surely tell him. They shouldn’t grasp how completely out of control I could become. For the sacrifices they made, they deserved a Sister who wouldn’t get them killed.

  In the darkness, a light glowed. I gasped and pressed my hand to the window. There was a living, good, soul out there in the hole. There shouldn’t be. And yet …

  I banged on the door. “Stop the carriage. Three, please tell them to stop. Now.”

  He banged on the ceiling four times, and the carriage came to a complete stop. I was out of the door as fast as I could manage, considering my outfit wasn’t made for fast action—our battles mostly required us to stand still and press power forward— and I’d never climbed in and out myself without someone opening the door.

  “Sister,” One called after me, and I heard the others shout. They’d have to get down from on top of the carriage to reach me. It would take a second. I didn’t stop. Someone needed me; their desperation had activated my powers. The divinities chose who and why. This was a who for me.

  I ran hard until an arm grabbed me, yanking me back. Two tugged me against him. “Sister, it is not safe out here. This is the hole.”

  As if I didn
’t know? I tugged my arm back, but he didn’t let go. This was highly irregular, from my behavior to his. Soon the other four were all around me.

  “Please.” I wasn’t better than any soul who needed me. I had to save him or her. They needed to understand. “There is someone out there who should not be. I must help him or her. Please.”

  Five looked between all of us, abject horror evident in his gaze. One stared at me, his eyes narrowed. Two still hadn’t let go. Three and four flanked him, both of their mouths hanging open.

  “Sister.” One spoke this time. “We are charged with taking you to Hazeltown. We need to go now.”

  I swallowed and would have answered, but Five whispered, catching my attention. “Her eyes are glowing.”

  The disgust in his low tone made me catch my breath. I turned. I didn’t have time for this. With a strong pull, I got my arm back from Two as Four spoke. “Her powers are working. It’s her gift on the inside manifesting on the outside. You aren’t to mention it. Ever.”

  One cut in. “Forgive him, Sister Anne. He’s very new. It’s his first time seeing it.”

  I didn’t care about forgiveness right then. I wanted to get to whoever needed me in the heartless hole. “If you can see my eyes, then you know what is happening. This is something I have to do. Stay here. I wouldn’t risk you. I’ll be fine.”

  I turned to run and didn’t look back.

  Two

  This time it was One who grabbed my arm. “Sister, if you are going to do this, we’re coming. Spread out. Let’s be smart. We can’t see what you see. Point in the direction.” I did as he asked. “Five and Three in front. Two Behind. Four, you’re with me flanking her. You stay with us. It’s our job to keep you safe, not the other way around.”

  This was the tone One adopted when I fought demons. I knew it well, and I didn’t argue. He wasn’t going to stop me from doing what had to be done. We walked slowly, my guards looking in all directions. The landscape had once been lonely—no one to be seen as far as my eyes could see. But, suddenly the possessed were everywhere.

  They could be dangerous to my guards had they not been wearing my symbols under their clothes. They could still be hurt, but not possessed. I was immune to demonic possession. I could be killed as any other human, but like those who served me my symbols offered protection.

  “None get near her. Understood? Five, if you’re going to freak, now is the time.”

  Five raised his hand in the air. “I’m solid.”

  “Good,” One answered. “Kill them when they get too close.”

  The possessed couldn’t help but come after me. The light from my powers showed to them in a time when they saw nothing but darkness, and it drew them endlessly to me. It had always been my hope that most were too far gone to really understand their condition. I didn’t know, and I didn’t dare ask how cognizant the hosts were. That was considered below my notice, as my training instructed, and I could never come across as too bourgeois for risk of being punished. I’d be beaten until I remembered my place. Sister Teresa was skilled with the whip.

  I found what I sought a few moments later. So far, my guards hadn’t needed to kill anyone. The light from the soul I’d seen moved over me, and I gasped when I realized who had drawn me to them. I bent over the small being who had caught my attention from the road. The smallest baby I’d ever seen outside the nursery in the Sisterhood. I knelt down. Draped in a pink blanket as it was, I thought it was a girl, but I’d have to check later. Tears rushed to my eyes, and the baby started crying. Why was she here? My heart turned over. I picked her up, wrapping the small pink blanket she wore in my arms to make her warmer.

  Thank the Divinity I had come by today.

  It was hard for me to speak. My powers deflated. I’d done what I needed to. Coming down was harder than when they turned on. “Why is she here?” I asked aloud, not really expecting anyone to answer. The guards didn’t speak to me like that. This went beyond the scope of our relationship. We were strangers who spent a lot of time together.

  Except this time, Three answered. He’d never spoken to me before, and it wasn’t lost on me there was something surreal about him doing it the first time in the middle of the hole while I held a child for the first time. So many firsts in such a horrible place.

  “Mothers sometimes have no choice. Somebody could have been threatening her safety in a way where death seemed preferable. Maybe her mother was sick or possessed. She hoped for the best, or perhaps her mother was so far gone herself she didn’t even know what she’d done. Sister.”

  He had a deep voice with a slight scratch to it. I let out a small sob and then sucked it back in. Sisters didn’t sob. “Forgive my emotional outburst.” None of them commented, so I continued on. “It won’t come as a surprise to you that my life is somewhat limited. As much as we are charged with helping those in need, I only see a very specific portion of the population. I didn’t know babies were being dumped in the hole. I’ve never seen a baby outside the nursery of the Sisterhood before, never held one.” I took a deep breath. “There’s a place, correct? Before Hazeltown. An orphanage. I know because we fund it, and I occasionally help with the books. We’ll take her there. It won’t even take us long. Please.”

  They were silent, and nothing but the moans of the possessed filled the night. One finally answered, “As you wish, Sister Anne.”

  He’d never said my name before, and tonight he’d said it twice. If I wasn’t holding an infant and in the middle of the hole, I might have actually swooned. For the second time, I reminded myself that Sisters didn’t swoon.

  The walk back was quiet. I’d almost convinced myself this would be without incident when the possessed attacked. One moment all seemed well, then in the next, my guards fought back the evil until we could get to the carriage.

  I’d seen them fight the possessed before to keep them away from me while I killed demons, but this was something new. Three practically threw me into the transportation, and we were off before I’d even sat. The baby cried out and then stopped. She was so silent. My heart was in my ears, pounding. She’d glowed in my vision. That had to mean she was going to be okay. Didn’t it? I had no training for this. What did someone do with a baby?

  What had I done? Sister Katrina was going to kill me. “Three, I know you don’t talk to me normally, and I respect your silence as your right. Please tell me, was anyone hurt in the fray?”

  He blinked rapidly. “The fray, sister?”

  “The fighting.”

  He pointed behind him. “The little skirmish with the half a dozen possessed? We’re all fine. Even Five. He held up well.”

  I sat back, clutching the baby tighter. “I am sorry. I can’t seem to control myself when my second sight is on.”

  He nodded, and although I expected him to look out the window, he didn’t. He stared straight ahead, sometimes looking at me, sometimes at the baby, who occasionally rubbed her nose against my chest. Was I hurting her?

  I never had to find out. The carriage stopped, and soon I was ushered into the orphanage. They were full but didn’t dare deny me what I wanted. Of course, they had no idea Sister Katrina hadn’t sanctioned my arrival. I had a hard time letting go of the baby. I’d found her. Was I making the right decision? I couldn’t keep her. What would I do with a baby? How was I even supposed to feel about a baby?

  I had no way to care for her.

  The Sisterhood wouldn’t take her if she wasn’t one of us. What else could I do? Eventually, I managed to focus. My guards needed me to move on. The baby needed food and care. The head mistress of the orphanage, whose gray hair was knotted so tight it pulled back her forehead, took the baby from me and disappeared into the darkness. I didn’t feel relief. I didn’t feel terror. It was like the whole thing was simply … finished.

  It had been such a big moment for me … rushing through the darkness towards an unknown light, the first unsanctioned thing I’d ever done … and now it was over. Jus
t like that.

  My energy ran out. I hadn’t fought a demon, but it felt like I had. I was going to have to be still in the carriage. Hazeltown wasn’t far. I couldn’t sleep; there wouldn’t be enough time. I’d eaten plenty earlier. The guards kept food on them, but I wasn’t going to take theirs. They’d more than earned their lunches. I could do this. I always had. I’d never let anyone down. I wouldn’t start today.

  This wouldn’t be the first time.

  My hood had never felt so stifling, but at least it kept my guards from knowing how pale I knew myself to be when I was this drained and how utterly terrified I’d been of and for the baby. Of getting them killed. Of making huge mistakes.

  Hazeltown was the closest town to the edge of the hole. The farther away from the hole a town could be without reaching the Deadlands, the more desirable a place it was considered. Hazeltown wasn’t a location anyone wanted to live in, and yet the factory kept more people employed than anywhere else for a hundred miles. Without the stockyards found in Hazeltown, no one had mattresses, tables, or hoes to plow their fields. It had lately become, therefore, the favorite place for any demon trying to make a name for itself to cause havoc.

  I’d cleared it twice in two years, and I wasn’t the only Sister to do so. One went in to speak to the foreman while I waited in the carriage. It didn’t do for any of us to speak to those who needed us. The guards handled any exchanges with the populace. Three hadn’t spoken again, and I’d not pushed. I waited for the knock signaling it was time for me take care of the demon. I could do this.

  Somehow.

  The knock finally came, and with shaking hands, I made my way inside the factory. I wasn’t afraid of the demon, but I’d never vanquished an evil being when I was so depleted before.

  Gasps sounded when I entered the area to be cleared. Why were there still bystanders? I turned to tell One to get rid of them in time to see Two already doing so. I needed to remember they were experienced. With the exception of Five, they’d all cleared demons many times.