Hard Truths (Kiss Her Goodbye Book 1) Read online

  “Your father didn’t become full Alliance until your grandfather died. Before that we’re all just semi-Alliance. But yes, your grandfather was, too.” Trace looked tired. He rubbed his eyes. “How does your head feel?”

  “Like I’m going to die and you’ll have to dispose of my dead body somewhere on this island.”

  T glared at me. “I’m not disposing of your body. I’d totally cremate you.”

  Derrick shook his head. “You are such a sick fuck. Ignore him. You’re going to be fine. Concussions suck. Yes, I played ball. I knew you didn’t know who I was and that was fine by me.”

  “Did you play with that man bun?”

  Trace snorted and then outright laughed, throwing his head back when he did. He winked at me before he stood up and looked at his phone. “The plane is ready. Can you walk? Carrying you onto the island like you were drunk was one thing. Carrying you out might draw more attention. These fuckers. I can’t believe they did this.” A muscle ticced in his jaw.

  “I can walk.” Maybe. I hoped.

  “You can lean on me.” Derrick helped me up. “And you can pass out if you need to once we get you on the plane.”

  I swallowed. “You’re not going to drug me again?”

  “Did you drug her to bring her down here?” Derrick shot a look at Trace.

  The other man shrugged. “I had to make two stops at secure locations. I didn’t want her to see them. I was actually trying to spare her any problems later. So yeah, I let her sleep, and she woke up in the Caribbean. No harm. No foul.”

  “Don’t make sports references. I know you. Watching golf does not give you permission to do that.”

  Trace shook his head. “That’s basketball. You don’t own all sports.”

  “I do. I own them all.”

  This was going to be a long day. Or was it night? I put one foot in front of the other and leaned on Derrick.

  I managed to keep it together until we got to the plane. I even made it through take off. It wasn’t until we had been in the air an hour that I started to weep. I hadn’t seen it coming. Derrick snored next to me, his eyes closed, his breathing even but loud. He didn’t stir with my crying, but Trace woke up. He placed a gentle hand on the uninjured side of my face.

  “I am really sorry this happened to you.”

  I sniffed. Words were escaping me. Was it possible I had brain damage or was this some kind of shock? “Why were they shooting at you if they wanted to kidnap you?” I finally found my voice. “Why didn’t Derrick text you or something about what was happening?”

  He kissed my cheek. “They didn’t hit me. That was a warning meant to take me down so they could get me more easily. If they’d wanted me dead I’d have been dead. I was more worried about them hitting you. And as for Derrick, I think what he wanted was to see you.”

  Derrick’s eyes flew open. “I wanted to get you back. He doesn’t just get to take you because he wants you. In the middle of the night while we’re all asleep. He doesn’t just get to do that. I came to get you and bring you back. And to tell Trace they were after him.”

  “Just me or everyone?” Trace sat back down in his seat. My head really pounded now. The harder it did, the more that I wept.

  “Everyone.” Derrick answered him. “Can we really not give her anything for the pain?”

  T shook his head. “No. Judson says not until he’s at least seen her. He may want to take her to the hospital and getting caught is not a good idea, obviously. So we’ll have to figure out which one.”

  Derrick sighed. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Everly.”

  “You beat the crap out of that man with your bat, Derrick, and T, you shot someone.”

  He held up two fingers. “That many people, actually.”

  “Then I guess you weren’t kidding when you said you could shoot me in the head. You really could.” I didn’t know what was happening inside of his mind, but he didn’t seem particularly bothered by the experience.

  “What the hell went on between the two of you?”

  I would have answered except the tears overwhelmed me again. Everything hurt. Why was this happening? I was supposed to be studying, waiting to hear from my graduate schools, and planning my life. I wasn’t supposed to be on an airplane in this crazy situation, beat up and concussed.

  The weeping wracked my body, which only made my head hurt more. T squirmed in his seat. “I never know what to do with tears. I really don’t.”

  Derrick drew me against him, holding onto me. “You can cry on me.” I closed my eyes, doing just that. He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. “I’m crazy. Out of my mind lunatic. But I’ll always be there. You don’t know that you want that yet, but you will. Give me all your tears. I’ve got you.”

  I didn’t sleep. My head hurt too much, but time did move at a funny pace. I was aware of things, and then I wasn’t. By the time we’d landed in Vermont and boarded the helicopter, I’d thrown up twice. I couldn’t believe there was anything more in my stomach.

  Derrick had a hand on my back the whole time, and Mr. I Hate Tears Trace hadn’t abandoned me either, even if I was fairly certain I’d put him into his own version of hell. Crying, puking women were not on his list of things he knew how to handle. Well, he could kiss my ass. This was his fault. Sort of.

  Judson met us by the door of the helicopter. “Still feel awful? Yes, I can see that you do.”

  “Does she need a hospital?” Trace jumped down next to me.

  “It might have been better to have done that before you put me on that death machine.” I didn’t like helicopters. I’d decided about halfway through the flight. Or maybe I just hated everything right now.

  J picked me up. I hadn’t anticipated it, and I must have made some sort of sound to indicate that because he adjusted me quickly so my head didn’t jostle too much. “I’m sorry this happened to you. It was my never my intention that you’d be hurt at all. I’m afraid we’ve dragged you into a hole with us that we have to dig out of now.”

  “You could let me go. That would work.” That seemed to make sense to me, even in my concussed state.

  K stood by the door to the house. He must have heard me because he groaned. “We still need your father to do what we always needed him to do. That’s the only way this stops.”

  “Considering she just got shot at and smacked around, I don’t think she gives a shit about our problems right now.” Derrick moved past us into the house.

  “Gentlemen, this is all too much.” Warden walked quietly into the room. “Everybody shut the fuck up and let Judson check her out.”

  I closed my eyes. Time slipped away again.

  I must not have gone to a hospital, and I didn’t know if that was because they didn’t want to take me or if I was okay to not be in one. Judson hovered around me, and at some point I realized that time was moving at its usual pace again. I sat up in my bed.

  Judson stared at me. Casual J who had a face that could probably be called pretty and turned out to be a doctor of some kind. This was his house. He signed to his staff. And right then he tilted his head while he spoke to me.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “My head is pounding a little less. Did you give me anything?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t. I’m not trying to torture you. It’s not a good idea to give pain meds in the first stage of a concussion. At some point I will give you something. For now, rest is what you can do.”

  A sound caught my attention, and I turned to see Derrick at my desk, his head down on his arms as he slept in the chair.

  “You’ve made a big fan in Derrick. In Trace too. I think he left to take a shower. They don’t leave you for very long.” Judson sat down on the side of my bed.

  “I know your first name.” That might be an asinine thing to say. “All of them now.”

  He nodded. “Well, then, Everly, it’s nice to meet you. Come on downstairs. We’ve got to make some plans.”

  Derrick lifted
his head. “Because you know how much I love planning meetings.”

  “I don’t know why we bother.” Judson rose. “You and Trace have proven you’ll just do what you want anyway. I thought Kade was going to have a coronary.”

  It was both good and bad that I now knew their names. It was easier to think of them as their letters. The Letters watched people getting tortured in the basement. The Letters took me prisoner. The Letters got shot at. If they were really these people—just people—then I had to deal with the fact that they were more than just monsters. They were people, complex, good looking, funny, people—who did monstrous things.

  And I was so tied up with them now I wasn’t sure I would ever get out. Or if I’d want to.

  Chapter 11

  The last time I’d been in the living room with all five Letters, I’d been terrified. Now, I was in too much pain to care one way or the other. I slumped down on the couch, not surprised when Derrick sat next to me. He had said he was always going to be around. I’d deal with that at another time. He was hot, even with the man bun, and he’d let me cry all over his shirt.

  He’d lost his wife, Alyssa, when she’d been killed by The Alliance. He shot bullets into the ice and killed a man with a baseball bat. Kade actually sat on my other side.

  “I know your first name,” I told him.

  He tilted his head. “I’m the one who told it to you. How hard did you hit your head?”

  “I didn’t hit it. I got punched. Hard.” If I closed my eyes, I could still see it. The fist heading straight for me. I should have at least tried to duck. It had been really fast…

  Judson sat down on another couch and soon they all trickled in. Trace didn’t sit, standing by the window. Warden was next to J and winked at me after a second.

  “I’m going to cut to the chase,” Judson said. “We’ve all had kidnap orders put on us. I think our cell phones have been compromised. We knew that could happen. That’s why we didn’t text you, Trace. I think we all hoped that you’d be safe until Derrick got there.”

  Well, that hadn’t worked out the way they wanted. Of course, maybe it did. Trace was fine. Sure, he’d killed two men. But he was perfectly healthy. It was my head pounding, my brain bruised.

  J kept speaking. “It isn’t safe to stay here. They know we’re here, and the bounty collectors will eventually figure out how to get here. I don’t one hundred percent trust the helicopter crew to not sell us out for the right amount. I want to get out of here tonight. We’re going to have to separate.”

  I blinked. “So you’re going to let me go?”

  “No, we just need to move you around until your father comes through.” Judson sighed. Why had I started to think he was nice? He wasn’t any different than the rest of them. He fully intended to keep me tied to them until he got what he wanted. “We need to split up. You’ll have to go with one of us.”

  K held up his hand. “I think that’s the answer. The ruling council clearly knows we aren’t going away quietly and that we’re going to bring them down. Or that we want to. But I am concerned about her staying with any of us too long. I mean, look at what she’s done to Derrick and Trace.”

  What had I done to them? “What does that mean?” I tried to sit up too fast. Derrick placed a hand on my thigh, stopping me from moving.

  “It means what it means. They’re both tied up in knots. I don’t know what went on with you and Trace on St. Croix, but I can guess, and Derrick is hooked. This is temporary, gentlemen. She is leaving. Never seeing us again.”

  T shrugged. “She and I didn’t make each other any promises and whatever you think you know, Kade, you don’t. It’s not your business. Everly is free to do as she likes. Period.”

  That shouldn’t have burned, but it did. Not that I expected a commitment from him. I absolutely did not, but the way he made it sound was like it was nothing. Oh man. I’d done it. I’d gone and equated sex and feelings. I kept my face passive even as part of me went cold inside.

  “She was never going to be yours anyway.” Derrick put his feet on the coffee table. “So yeah, by all means, be stupid about this now. You’re good at it, professor.”

  Warden interrupted. “I’ll take her. We’ll shift her around until her father comes through. A few months more. Less maybe if he hustles. Could be significantly less. We’ll all have to disappear. We have those outs. She’ll come with us. Then it’ll be over and Everly can go back to her life, knowing that I’m fantastic and that the rest of you are douchebags.”

  I laughed, but it hurt. Derrick shook his head. “I’m not leaving her.”

  “You don’t have ownership on her, dip shit.” Trace’s voice was so sharp it could have cut glass.

  K sighed. “I rest my case.”

  “You need a break, Derrick.” Judson sat back. “I’m afraid this is some kind of transference from obsessing over Alyssa to now obsessing over Everly.”

  I expected Derrick to tense with that statement, but he didn’t. Not even a little bit. “Wait and see, brother, you’re going to be panting at Everly’s feet.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t do that.”

  “We’ll see.”

  I’d had enough. “So we’re all just going to leave here and pass me around while my father gets the information you need? Has anyone spoken to him? Is it possible he did this to you? Put the kidnap hit on you.”

  “I spoke with him yesterday. It isn’t him. He doesn’t want you dead. Whatever else he is, he understands that putting us in any danger, also puts you in the crosshairs. And the last thing he wants is the ruling body of this fucked up existence turning their attention to you. Your father is on the wrong side of this war, but he recognizes that it is, in fact, a battle. If we’re not careful, you’re going to be collateral damage.”

  So not my father then. “I hate to point out the obvious but if you guys need to go into hiding, you could just let me go. I won’t even tell anyone. Who would believe me? I have a head injury. Boom, I’m crazy. Easy fix, done.”

  “Sorry, honey.” Derrick laughed. “You’re not done with us. Back to the matter at hand,” he squeezed my thigh again, this time harder, “I’m not leaving her.”

  Judson shook his head. “You have something to do. You can’t go into hiding. By contrast, you have be so in public they can’t take a shot at you. No one is going to grab you from an award show. Go be seen. Everywhere. With every hot starlet out there. Go do the baseball thing. You’re still recognizable. That’ll be a great distraction to give the rest of us time to get these bastards off our asses. You can’t have her with you while you do that. And keep your fucking eye on the goal here. Taking over The Alliance so Alyssa can never happen again.”

  That was when I remembered Alyssa was Judson’s twin sister. Oh, he had a strong objective here too. Maybe I could forgive him for being so centrally focused. What was it like to share a womb with someone and then lose them?

  “I will never forget Alyssa. You know that.” His voice was low.

  J nodded. “I do. Go take care of business, Derrick. You can have your turn with Everly at the end if you’re still interested. You’ll probably have moved on which will be better for both of you. Trace will cool off, too.” When had J gotten to be in charge? It seemed like they rotated through unspoken leadership. Or maybe there wasn’t any, really. Trace had absconded with me in the middle of the night. None of them liked it but there wasn’t anything any of them seemed to be able to do about it anyway.

  “How do you all know each other?” I looked between them. “I mean, I get it. You’re all Alliance. Are there like get-togethers? Birthday parties? Bar crawls? Did you go camping? Tubing? Shrimping? I’m trying to understand your dynamics here. Derrick was married to your twin sister until she died. I’m sorry about that, by the way, but how do you know the rest of them?” I addressed Judson, but I was really speaking to all of them.

  Judson pointed at Warden. “Our fathers knew each other. We didn’t know about The Alliance until we were older.
Warden wasn’t supposed to be part of it. But we used to see each other regularly because our dads were friends. Warden’s father used to give money to the hospital where my father was chief of staff. So he and I have been friends for a long time.”

  W shook his head. “J was annoying. He was two almost three years younger than me but he used to tag along with my brother and me. Eventually, I discovered he wasn’t annoying. He was brilliant. Then I kind of hated him a little bit.”

  Judson laughed. “Warden has an IQ off the charts. I wouldn’t believe him on this. Or much of anything. He lies.”

  “You’re going to make it so she never believes me, and out of all of us, I’m the most likely to tell the truth.” He shook his head. “The rest of us met later. At Alliance training.”

  Training? I thought of Trace’s back and the scars all over it. He’d said that happened during training. I filed this away for another time when my head didn’t hurt.

  “I met Alyssa through Judson. He wasn’t at the first years of training with us. He came in the last year we were there. Then he did two years without us. His father hosted a get-together,” Derrick supplied, “here, actually. I went. She was there, shouldn’t have been considering it was an Alliance party but their father was lenient.”

  Judson nodded. “Got her killed, thanks to it.”

  “No, that was my fault.” Derrick tensed for the first time in the conversation. “I got her killed.”

  J shook his head. “No. I did the second I got her involved in something she should have been left out of. Like we’ve done ourselves with Everly.” He pointed at me. “As her concussion proves. Let’s hope that’s the end of it.”

  Kade sat forward. “We all became allies of sorts. We saw things the same way. That eventually led to friendships, but like all Alliance members we understand that friendship only goes so far. We’re loyal to each other. That’s more important than friendship. Like I really don’t give a shit if I hurt their feelings. They know I’d kill to keep us all safe. That’s more important than if they like me.”